Okay, Okay, Okay...

I'm sorry it's been so long since a post! Geez!! Actually no one has really been bothering me to post except Steven. I wish that I could say that since it's the break I have more time to post...and I can because it's true. I have just squandered that time on watching movies, working and sleeping. But here is the survey that everyone seems to be doing. Have fun glancing over it!

If my house were burning down and I could only retrieve one object, I'd save my___?
I know for a fact that I would go for my pets first (I always grab them first in tornado weather). But sense the question says object, to be honest, I would not grab anything but a coat and maybe my cell phone. But the things I would most regret no having would be my Books, DVD's, CD's, iPod.

If I were a superhero, the superpower I'd most want is_____?
Either perfect memory (is that one?) or be able to turn into animals (or communicate with them).

The song that best describes my life is______?
"Somethings Missing" by John Mayer. Or "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse.

My favorite beverage is_____?
Sprite with lots of Sonic ice

My favorite candle scent is____?
Ginger Cookie

My favorite restaurant is_____?
Steak N' Shake-unless that counts as fast food-ish then I would have to say El Maguy.

If I had to wear the same color shirt every day, it would be_____?
Black or Dark Blue

My favorite hymn is_____?
"O My Father"

If I were given one million dollars and 24 hours in which to spend it I would buy____?
A nicer used car, new shoes, some new cloths, all of the seasons of x-flies, supernatural, lost season 3, 24 season 3, all the Harry Potter books and movies then this semesters school books. Then I would probably go and binge at Barnes and Noble and Best Buy.

If I had to eat the same thing for dinner every day for the rest of my life, it would be_____?
Pizza. But not the store bought stuff. Pizza Hut Pizza.

The one movie that I wouldn't mind watching over and over again is_____?
"The Princess Bride" or "The Fountain" because I will never fully understand that movie.

The strangest place I've ever been to is_____?
The Plague display at the Science Center.

The place I'd most like to visit is_______?
New Zealand

The two adjectives that best describe me are____ and________?
Friendly and Procrastinative...I had to make up one.

The person I spend the most time on the phone with is______?
My sisters Juli and Elise. The probably Erin.

The last person I talked on the phone with is______?
Kirsti

This morning I ate_____ for breakfast.
Celery with ranch dip.

On a scale of one to ten, with one being a neat freak and ten being a total slob, I'm a_____?
At work, an 8.5. In my room, a 3.7.

The store I buy most of my clothes from is______?
Old Navy and Blackberry Exchange.

The one thing for which I'd most like to be remembered after I die is_____?
She never put herself before those she loved.

The best Christmas present I ever got was______?
I hate these questions, but I guess I have to say that it was the Willow Tree figure that Juli got me a few years back because it represented how we were there for each other and how much we love each other.

The general authority who I most enjoy hearing speak is_____?
At the moment it is Elder Bednar.

My favorite perfume is_____?
I don't wear perfume, but I really like the stuff that Emily got me.

On average, I'm about_____ minutes late for church on Sundays.
Zero. I go to Choir every week which is before church.

The last book I read is______?
Prince Caspian

My favorite television show is______?
At the top of my long list of favorites would have to be X-files because it never failed to disappoint. Even the seasons without Mulder were good season even though I was depressed the whole time because it just wasn't the same.

My favorite Sesame Street character is_____?
I never watched that show, but what I saw off of the Muppet Family Christmas I liked the Count.

If my life were made into a movie, I'd want______ to play me.
Kate Winslet (mostly because of her performance in "The Holiday"). The Jim Henson Company!! No but seriously, Michelangelo Antonioni because the two movies I have seen of his were amazing and I think that the way he portrays life would translate my life nicely.

My greatest fear is______?
Work, apparently. I keep having work nightmares. I don't have any serious phobias or fears. But I would have to say it would be failing to be happy in what I have chosen to do with my life.

If I could choose a new name for myself, it would be_____?
Guenevere.

When I was five, I wanted to be a(n)______ when I grew up.
I cant remember what I wanted to be when I was five. But one of the first things I remember wanting to be was a Marine Biologist because I loved dolphins. I always remember wanting to work with animals.

If I was given an extra $10 at Wal-Mart, I would______?
Go out to eat instead of buying the frozen pizza I was going for. Or get Pistacios and Sunflower seeds and Chocolate.

In five years, I'd like to be doing the following:
Be done with college, be working at a zoo or as a conservationist up north. I would also like to be married.

My favorite day of the week is____?
Monday believe it or not. I don't have to work and I usually get to go to FHE which is tons of Fun. Plus it's 24 night!!

My favorite temple is_____?
I have always loved the Salt Lake temple and it will always be my favorite and the one I want to get married in.

My dream job is____?
To live with wolves like that one couple did.

My favorite animated Disney movie is_____?
I would have to say "The Lion King"

The last movie I was in a theater is_____?
"Enchanted"

Things I Remember and Miss

Happy Friday in Wind Ensemble-i.e. Copland's Hoe-Down.

Ridiculous kids movies that I can't watch anymore with out being ridiculed
-Pete's Dragon
-The My Little Pony Movie (I did watch this a while ago with Sapphire when I went to visit her in Kansas. We loved My Little Pony!)
-The Nutcracker Fantasy
-The Polar Bear King (just kidding!) Don't watch the whole clip unless you want gouge your eyes out because thats what you will want to do. (in truth the little kid in me loves that movie.)
Etcetera...

Believing in Santa Clause.

Good Musicals. They just don't make them like they used to. Though I did really enjoy Across the Universe and Moulin Rouge.

When a big box or a pile of blankets and a few chairs were the most fun in the world.

Gas being a dollar.

Being a kid doing the Missourian paper route. I do not miss the early mornings, but I miss the adventures that I would have with myself.

Mary Morris and Sapphire Hodges, The two greatest friends in the world when I was a kid.

Being able to play in the McDonald's playplace.

Mountains (tee hee).

The magic of a fallen tree.

Snow Days.

Leaf houses in the back yard.

Recess. The time and the cartoon. In fact, I really miss One Saturday Morning.
-Pepper Anne
-Doug
-The Weekenders
-Reboot
-The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest (I dont think this was on One Saturday Morning. I seem to remember watching it after school.)

And Lets not forget
-Darkwing Duck
-Duck Tales
-Chip and Dale The Rescue Rangers
-Captain Planet

Sorry. I had a fit of cartoon nostalgia right there. Oh, the memories.

speaking of memories, a really fun website is retrojunk.com.

I also really miss toys. I can't believe all the fun I had with just a basket random bits from other old toys.

Playing Star Wars with Mary... and all those times that we would pretend that we were wolves. We loved wolves and Star wars.

Playing Mario Brothers with Christina and Mary.

Marys house. I tell you, it was the coolest house.

Good times on Love Oak Lane.

Trick Or Treating.

Playing the Marimba.

That was good for my soul. I miss a lot of things. I wish that life were as simple as it was when I was a kid. I know it's good to grow. But I also know that a life spent worrying about everything is not a fun life. It's the life I'm living right now. So many worries. I'll get through it though. I always do.

Gooder...

I got really depressed the other day thinking about the day when I wont get a month off for Christmas break or a week off for Thanksgiving. Even more depressing is that I wont have three months during the summer.

How sad.

In the meantime I will take full advantage of the breaks that I am given. Except this year, I have two exams soon after and I cant do bad on them. I also still have one paper to revise. So I cannot allow myself to not do anything.

But there is something very exciting in my future (besides being an aunt which is uber exciting!!!). I get to go caving!!! The last lab for my ecology class is caving! I cant wait. I don't know how intense it's going to be but I know that were going to get wet and muddy! It wont be as cool as it was in science club in Jr. high because we only have 4 hours but it will still be cool. I wonder how I'm going to get to work on time. I may have to tell Bill that I cant be there till 6:00 instead of 5:30. Bummer

Life is pretty good right now. I'm feeling stronger and happier than I was a little while ago. I have leftover chicken Parmesan and a tasty salad waiting for me at home. After work tonight I might be able to attend the last leg of a birthday party for Marcia. I can relax a little tomorrow. I have a lot to look forward to.

The only thing is work. It's been pretty slow lately and thats not good for me on the money front. I predict that tonight will be OK until 9:00 when we will have no one for the last hour of the night. But Saturday, i just don't know. It's not a home game. It's at 11:30. So we could be busy. But last week it was a home game at the same time and we were pretty darn dead. I just don't know what to believe anymore!

I'll just have to wait and see.

I am the Walrus!

(Moms right. Theres going to be a whole new generation of Beatles lovers out there because of Across the Universe).

I am still alive

I don't have a lot of time. I must make this brief. I am in the clutches of an evil technological genius that stole me and took me to the future. At least I think thats where I am. I pretty sure he has me mistaken for someone else because he keeps calling me Princess. Strange. And he keeps asking me where I hid my time melting device. Whatever that is.

I have tried to find a way out of this place, but it is huge and judging by what I saw out one of the windows it's located on an island. That probably explains why I have not been confined to a cage or prison cell. Thats why I found this old computer. I went through one of the only doors unlocked and discovered this room with all these Macs and Dells. They are all dusty and look like they have been here for years, except they are all way more advanced than anything I have ever seen. It took me forever to figure this one out. I'm not even typing! I just put my hand on a metal plate and think the words and they appear.

I'm a little scared, but I don't have time to panic. I need to figure out what this guy wants, who he thinks I am and how I can convince him that I can't help him on either of these aspects.

I want to let my family know, if they are still alive, that I am okay and safe for the time being. I don't think this guy want's me dead and thats all I got going for me...

Sorry, I'm not sure where that came from. I just started a sentence and that all came out. Maybe I should post it on my writing blog and make something out of it.

But seriously, I wish that I had more time to update this blog and my other blog. It's just been a crazy couple of weeks. I'm no longer at a dead run, but I am still having to canter along and I am exhausted. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving break. You have no idea...or maybe you do.

Anyway, I know that at one point I said that I would do a movie review entry and I still plan on that. But in all honesty it most likely happen until Thanksgiving Break. I know that most of you don't really care and the movies I will review are ones that most of you have already seen, but I am still going to do it because it is fun. I will also post my answers to the Christmas Present Survey that Steven put out so that those of you who read this and as so inclined to go by lists will have some idea of what I am wanting this year. Okay, I am late for institute. I have to go now.


I think he's onto me!

*Small Smile*

I just want to say that I am so thankful for siblings that are angry in my behalf. It makes me feel better. To make things even more interesting, apparently the Mom of this employee who allowed me to be stiffed (the mom was apparently one of the ones at the table) insisted that the manager speak to me about my horrible service. Bill took me aside and asked what the deal was. He wasn't angry or anything. But he was just following through. I told him my side of the story. He told me that Casey had spoken in my defense (I love her). And he also said (though this could have been because he wanted to keep both sides appeased) that he has no sympathy for families of employees that come to eat at Bob Evans because they are only there for the discount. Anyway, I wasn't written up or anything. Good.

In the continuing saga of SARAH AT BOB EVANS

Monday of all days was one of the worst that I have had at Bob Evans so far. It will probably remain in the top five along with the day that I got three complaints in a row because I table hopped. To start off the evening, I was 1/2 an hour late because my car had died(left the stupid lights on again). I had to call several people before finally getting a ride from Scott Mitchell. I got there and the only people working were me and Bill. No cook, no hostess, no dishwasher and no other servers. This really wasn't a problem because Bill can cook and host at the same time. And we weren't too busy. Then a man comes in and tells the hostess that just showed up that he's going to have 9 other people joining him. This is no problem. The restaurant is completely empty. They trickle in. I get them all drinks. They are all nicely dressed and are here for a business meeting. A few other couples walk in and I am able to handle them just fine. I have gotten most everyones orders and it's getting a little busy. More and more people are coming in.

Around 5:25 Amber shows up and it seems like it will be fine. But the people don't stop coming. And our hostess is new and still doesn't understand that you don't seat a section twice if you can help it. She keeps doing this and so Amber and I keep taking each others tables to counter this. For a time, Bill would ask me how I was doing and I would smile and just say "Great!" halfway meaning it. But around 6:00 I was hoping that Bill wouldn't ask me how I was doing because I would probably say something snide or unhappy. I don't know how I managed to get everything done. My service wasn't 100%. Probably around 60-70%. Thats D-C range. Anyway, it was horrific. 6:30 brought us Justin thank goodness. After he showed up, things settled and I was back to doing Great except that my brain was leaking out of my ears.

Not a happy night, but I made a total of $103. What is it with a Monday being busy? Who knows. I got a $10 tip from a two top last night but only a 5-dollar bill from a seven top (3 of them were kids). And as much as I respect Spencer as a server and he's fun sometimes, ther are times when I want to shove a fork up his nose.

In other life news, I really have no other life. I'm depressed because I have a friend coming into town tonight and she will be here for the weekend but I will have almost no time to spend with her. *tear*. In a little happier news, I have now officially decided that I am going to be Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI for Halloween. My new hair color seems to match that pretty closely and I wont get crap from mom for cross-dressing.

Anyway, thats about it. Life moves on and I sometimes wish I could just stand still and forget about it.

I have intentions of posting a movie review at some point...so look for that.

Crispy

I am in long sleeves. I almost cannot believe it. I cant see the skin of my arms!!!! What do I do!! Okay, breathe Sarah. This is what you wanted. Aww...the theme from Buffy just came onto my iPod and I miss that show...*sigh*. So believe it or not, this year there is a pro and a con to it becoming autumn. Pro, all the things that I love about this season. Con, the colder it gets, the less insects they are to collect and freeze. Which means that it's time for another plug...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! I CAN USE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!! NO PRESSURE BECAUSE IT'S MY OWN FAULT FOR LETTING ALL THIS TIME PASS. BUT IF YOU SEE AN INSECT (NO SPIDERS PLEASE, THOUGH THEY ARE COOL) TAKE A SECOND AND CONSIDER CATCHING IT. BEGGARS CANT BE CHOOSERS SO I WILL TAKE ANYTHING BUT WHILE I AM ON THE TOPIC, I WOULD PREFER THEM IN TACT AND NOT SQUISHED. THOUGH ANY BUG IS BETTER THAN NO BUG AT ALL. THANK YOU!!

Sorry. Thats two time in a row. I'm just starting to feel the crunch. Eww, bugs go crunch...

So I think that Bob Evans needs to have a seminar on common restaurant courtesy for it's employees. One of the morning servers and a morning hostess came in...for the second time I might add. It was about 8:00pm. And I had three other tables and Danielle had just been given a 10 top. So we were are scrambling around to help people and help Danielle with her plight. Shoulder some of the load. These two employees (I feel only slightly bad because I can't remember their names) who are friends apparently, have 5 other people that come and join them. They start at one of out long tables that can seat 8 comfortably, but they seem to be unable to conserve space, so as more and more people come along(it was originally supposed to be only a 5 top) they decide that they need to move to another table. The round table in the corner. They also decided that three of them wanted to order and they said that they would be the only ones( they are the only ones there at this point.) I take their order.

By this time the 10 top has arrived. Goody. I was going to take it, but Danielle spared me. I Have been helping her and my other tables when the rest of my 5 top, now a top shows up. I get their drink orders and then go to do other things because I was under the impression that no one else was getting food. Then one of them decides that they want food. And the waitress wants banana bread. All around they are not the kindest of people anyway...but this takes the cake. I was busy then for the next 20 minutes trying to get everything in order and get my food out. Get my tickets out and get people refills. I do have to admit that I spent the least amount of time at the round table with the two employees. But it's not like I was never there. And they were pretty demanding. They needed something every two minutes. Haven't they heard of asking my to get jelly at the same time they ask my to get honey or ketchup? No. I guess not. I know that this entry is long. Bare with me, I am almost done.

After a while, we get everything out to the 10 top and I am now ringing up tickets for people. I am in the process of ringing up needy tables ticket, when the phone rings. Casey(the wonderful and delightful hostess that works Thursdays) answers it. Moments later she comes up to me and says, "the round table called for you."

"Okay," I answer

"No, they literally called for you. On the phone."

I look at her uncomprehending for a moment then raise my eyebrows.

"That was them just now on the Bob Evans phone?"

"Yeah"

"Cute."

I make my way over there with an smile plastered to my face. I apologize that it's been a while since my last visit over there. Before I can ask what they want, A man who was part of the party(he looked about 50) spoke up. "Oh, don't worry. It will be reflected on your tip."

I cant tell if he's joking so I just smile and ask what I can do to help them. They want their check. okay good. I tell them that I was in the process of working on it when they called. They laugh at their little "lets call our waitress over by calling the restaurant" joke. I smile and walk away to get back to what I was doing feeling a little smug that calling me over only insured that they had to wait longer. Casey is just as exasperated with them as I am which makes me feel better because it's not just because I am oversensitive. I get them their ticket and they leave immediately. Thank goodness. But later when I go to clean off the table I see no cash tip. Thats okay. They probably left me a tip on credit. I go to print off my credit tip report. I look down the list and see their ticket. (by the way, it was a good 30 dollars). And guess what? There was no tip at all. The man was not joking. Apparently my service to their table was so bad that I don't deserve to make any money at all from them. A complete waste of my time. All I got out of it was a headache. I have noticed that sometimes there are people who just don't tip, or forget. This table had two employees of Bob Evans. Two employees of the restaurant business. And they let me be left dry. I told this to Casey and we were incredulous. I do think that I need to talk to Steve or Bill about talking to employees about courtsey to your co-workers. Go somewhere else if you want to be a complete jerk. Don't so it to your won team or as Bob Evans calls it "Family".

Okay, I am done. I just needed to vent. On a side note, Danielle got only $5 dollars from her 10 top. I can't even remember how much the check was. But it was a lot and that was a ridiculously low tip.

Sorry. Now I can move on. Moving on...why do all vents seem to be epics? I think it's because we explain in great detail because we want people to feel our anger and justify it to those we are speaking to. And to ourselves. Maybe.

I'm pretty much failing...

So I never com here to post anymore. The truth is, i feel like I have to invest more into these entries to keep my family updated on my life. I have another blog where I just type whatever jumps into my brain about my life. I could do that here but people actually read this and they may not be able to understand the random firings of my brain. Most of the stuff I think has nothing to do with my actual life...well thats not completely true. OK I'll get to the updating.

Work: Not too shabby. Last weekend was almost a disaster. But I managed to pull myself through it. Money this week has been pretty good so far and I hope that this trend continues. But I'm going to have to work a lot harder it seems. We just fired two people and have two new trainees but they won't be up and running for at least another 5 days or so. I like working at Bob Evans when people do what they are supposed to and help each other out. There are some who do not think that this is necessary and make the night horrible for everyone else. And unfortunatly, Bill seems to like these people and won't fire them though he's fired for less. Oh well.

School: I failed my Ecology Test. Well, I got a D and that is as good as failing for me. I continue to underestimate the difficulty of this class. It all seems to make sense until it's put into exam or quiz form. This was the problem with Ornithology. What is it with the ecology people and not being straightforward? Actually it's really me not being able to apply concepts I guess. Anyway, I took a Physiology exam today and aced the first half. Not so sure about all the stuff on Sensory neurons and blah blah blah blah blah...Oh sorry. I almost want into a tangent involving something I really know nothing about. I am running out of time to collect insects. It's going to get cold soon and thats when they all go away. So I WOULD LIKE TO ENLIST SOME HELP FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO READ THIS!! IF YOU FIND ANY INSECTS, WOULD YOU COLLECT THEM FOR ME?? THEY CANNOT BE SMASHED. THEY MUST BE IN TACT. THE BEST TO PRESERVE THEM IS TO CATCH THEM NICELY, PUT THEM IN A SMALL ZIPLOC BAG AND PUT THEM IN THE FREEZER. I DO NOT NEED SPIDERS SADLY. I COULD REALLY USE BEETLES AND BUTTERFILES. MOTHS ARE OKAY BUT NOT AS IMPORTANT. THIS CAN INCLUDE YOU PEOPLE NOT IN COLUMBIA AND NOT IN MISSOURI. I'LL FIND A WAY TO GET THEM THANK YOU!!!

I'm done with that now. Sorry.

Life in general: The beginning of this week was interesting. Katie Whitman (a person much of the Lambson family should know, but I really didn't until a few weeks ago) went out of town and needed someone to look after her two boys (Jack (10) and Andy(8). I spent the night Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I made them dinner, made sure they got to bed, took them to school and picked them up. It was a very educational experience. I learned that Disney channel shows are addicting and dangerous to ones health. I think that they should be ranked above cigarettes. This channel ruins lives with movies like High School Musical and Twitches and their even worse sequels. Anyway, Andy was a major whiner but this is expected from an 8-year-old boy who resents me because his mom is gone and he misses her. Jack was little to no help in making things easier for his younger brother. They got along some of the time. At least Jack listened to me and did what I said. Probably to show Andy how an older boy should act. And I do have to say that Jack inherited much of his grandfathers humor. He is quite an amusing boy. Nothing bad happened. No emergencies, though Jack did loose half of a tooth from eating a sugar baby. Kati's bed was very comfortable. And I wonder if, when I have kids, I will dream weird dreams about them like I did every night while I was babysitting.
Oh, they pranked me the last night I was there. They were real sneaky about it too. Andy came up to me and asked if I would get him a hair tie from his moms bathroom because he wanted to see if he could put his hair up (it is pretty long). Both boys go over to the sink a little later. The Jack goes to the couch to watch more T.V. A minute later Andy asks if I can turn to water on for him because he can't get it to work. I go to the sink and turn on the water and get a chest full of the rinse hose. I am assuming that this was all craftily arranged by Jack. They had put the hair tie around the handle of the hose so that it sprayed me when I turned on the water. We all had a goos laugh. Kudos to them for fooling me. Thought that is not very hard to do.

Well, that wasn't too bad or random of an update. I tried not to be too boring or too random at the same time. I'll try to be more diligent in my updating in the future so each entry won't be so lengthy.

ARRRRRR!!!!!

"Ahoy there, Matey! Can you do the Pirate Dance?
First you take your right cutlass and you cut off someones pants!
Next you take your left harpoon and you spear a little fish!
Then you take your pirate booty and you swish, swish, swish!"

My take on the otter dance(Dad and Kirsti know what I'm talking about). Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!! I think that I should talk like a pirate to all tables at work tonight. Do you think they would be impressed? Yeah, probably not.

But come join me, me harty, in celebrating this day by making yourn speech that of a buccaneers!

It is actually really hard to talk like a pirate when your vocabulary is so limited...sigh. I'm not even sure if "yourn' means "your". Oh well. I'm going to take a nap at the institute so I wont be dead at work tonight.

Stevens Survey

1. What song describes you right now? “Atlantic”-Keane

2. If you were a type/brand of alcohol, what would you be and why? Bud Light, because their commercials are brilliant.

3. When did you go to bed last night? 11:00pm

4. Preferred brand of bottled water? Any…I’m not a water snob.

5. Favorite photo with you in it? A picture of me, Ben, Erin, and Matt after our last Hickman concert.

6. TV channel you watch the most? SciFi, or USA

7. Favorite style of shoe? Casual tennis shoes

8. Most common color in your wardrobe? Blue and Black

9. Favorite flavor of gum? Tridents Apple Rasberry splash

10. What is your usual breakfast? Whats leftover in the fridge that’s good, or oatmeal

11. Favorite breakfast cereal? Life

12. Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Papa Johns? All of the above for different things

13. Best part of your day? Reading before bed time.

14. What do you do when you're bored? Read, watch random tv. Sometimes a movie, but that’s less frequent now that I don’t get free rentals.

15. McDonald's, Wendy's, or Sonic? McDonalds if I have no money, Wendys for their awesome food, Sonic for their drink options, corn dogs and onion rings

16. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Rings…

17. Hans Zimmer or James Horner? Zimmer all the way, baby

18. Who's worse- Brittany, Paris, or Lindsay? Why? Can’t…answer…have…to….*vomit*

19. How do you stay awake when driving late at night or when you're really tired? Sun flower seeds, or M&M’s something light for my mouth to do.

20.When was the last nap you had? Must have been last Wednesday before work

21. Favorite gameshow? Used to be the Price is Right. Now…I just don’t know anymore…*sob*

22. Favorite place you've lived? The blue duplexe only because it’s where I spent most of my childhood

23. Josh Grobin or Michael Buble? Bubble…I mean Buble

24. Sci-fi or fantasy? Movies or Books or TV Shows? Actually in everything they are pretty much equal in my sight.

25. If you were to be cooked, which spice would you use on yourself? Nutmeg, because it has the irresistible allure…not that I want to be irresistible…*cough*

26. Would you rather eat your own placenta (or wife's) or lick your firstborn child clean when he/she comes out? Okay, what the heck kind of question is that? There is no way that I am going to answer…but…must…answer…it’s a survey…AGH! Lick firstborn clean! There I said it!

27. Preferred pain reliever? Mmmm…Ibuprofen

28. Favorite kind of juice? Crapple

29. Push-pins or thumbtacks? What’s the difference?

30. Favorite poet? I was conditioned in A.P. English to hate all poets…Please don’t make me break down another poem again!

First Experiences

I am at the point where I am tired of relating this story, but I feel like there are a few blog readers out there that would like to fume at this as much as everyone else.

So heres the deal. On one of my first nights At Bob Evans, I handled a couple that seemed nice enough. Both the man and the woman wanted Coffee and water and the man asked for a slice of Pumpkin pie(man I really want to carve some pumpkins.). Okay, so I was still new at the whole serving on my won thing. Apparently I didn't serve them as well as I could have. I think I forgot the womans water or something and then the pie was cold. Whatever. I apologized and figured that I would never see them again.

Friday night: The same couple comes in and are once again sat in my section. I greet them cheerfully. I ask what I can get them to drink.

Woman: I hope you can get it better than you did last time. You seemed to have problems with my coffee and water.

something to that effect. There was no gentle teasing in her voice showing that last time was forgiven. There was an unhappy malice to her words. My smile faltered for a brief moment, then shot back up. More forced than before.

Me:I'm sorry if there were problems last time. I'll try to get it right this time. Is that going to be all for you?

Man: I'll have the same and piece of Pumpkin pie. Heated, please.

I smile again and tell them I'll get that right out. At this point in the night, I have at least three other tables that I am trying to take care of. I had food and drinks to get out to them because they were first and I was already trying to juggle three tasks in one, so I put the coffee and water on hold for about 60 seconds. I helped my other people and as I made it back to the front to get the couple their coffee and water the shift manager Kathy comes up to me.

Kathy: Have you gotten table 33 their drinks yet?
(table 33 is the couple)
Me:I was just about to.
Kathy(a little distressed): these people are huge Bob Evans Regulars(said like it was a title). They like to get their drinks as soon as they come in before anything else.
Me: oh! I had no idea. I'll get right on it.

I make their drinks, get the man his pie and rush to their table. It couldn't have been 3 minutes since they sat down, and no more than two since I got their drink order. I give them their drinks and pie and with a more confident and natural smile than earlier ask if everything looks okay. The woman looks at me and gives me a sour false smile...

Woman: Oh, we'll see.

My smile falters again and I just nod my head

Me: Okay. Let me know if that pie is warm enough.

The man smiles at me. I go back to the front after checking on my other tables. Kathy looks at my expression of annoyance as I punch in their ticket.

Kathy: Let me take care of them for now.

Me: Gladly!

The incident left me in a little less of a good mood for the next several minutes. Then I got over it and was back to being happy.

Saturday. I was on a roll. Bill had just finished complimenting me on my excellent job at rising to the challenge of the 10's and 20' section. Telling me that he had heard nothing but good things about me all night. About 10 minutes after that in comes a man and a woman. I am punching in a ticket when I hear my name being said by the register. I hear the hostess say "sure, no problem". I look up and see the couple. I watch as Allison sits them in the section farthest from mine. When Allison came up to me I asked if they had asked not to be seated in my section. She nods her head and asks why. I just shrug. Bill, the ASM heard this exchange and looks at me, troubled.

Bill: I'll talk to you about this in a second.

He goes off to greet the couple. At this point, I'm exceedingly glad that they aren't in my section and I almost laugh my head off when Shelly(the girl who's section they got sat in) comes up to me and asks if I can take their table because she is really busy.

Me: Trust me. They don't want me to take them, I don't want to take them. They asked not to be in my section.

Bill comes up.

Bill: What did you do to Jade? Man, she's hammered. I really don't like that woman.

Me: I don't know. She just hates me for some reason. But hey, if she doesn't like me, I'm fine with never having to serve her again.

So I know that her name is Jade, she is drunk and that the ASM doesn't like her. Man am I glad that she hates me. Later Bill tells me that she told him she thinks I'm lazy. Apparently because they like to get their drinks 30 seconds after they come in and are offended if you try to ask them if they want to order before their drinks have been served. DRINKS FIRST DRINKS FIRST DRINKS FIRST!!! If you don't get their coffee and water out to them before they even sit down, you are automatically on their Bob Evans hit list. Whatever. They think I'm lazy because I helped someone before I get their drinks to them. Bill thinks they're full of crap. And besides, Bob Evans Policy # 1 is get hot food out of the window and to it eater. Policy two is greeting a new table. So is I have a table that needs food and another new table that has just been seated, I am going to fill my tray with table ones food and then make a short stop by table two to let them know I ill help them shortly and give them silverware. Mrs. I'll just have coffee and water will have to wait her priority turn.

So a few things. This was my first experience with a really obnoxious customer. I think I handled it well and I really just feel sorry for the woman and very very sorry for her husband.

I am not a mind reader. I am still somewhat new. I had no idea that they were regulars and had to get their drinks on their table before they even decide that they want to come to Bob Evans. And I like Stevens phrase. This woman is "Not Gods gift to Bob Evans" and has no right to treat people like they are worth nothing. Oh! And i never got a tip from her. Not out of any of the three times I served her. Not that I would get a lot out of two coffees and a slice of pie. But whatever. I will never have to deal with her again. And even though I will have bad customers in the future, I'm pretty sure none of them will be bad enough ever ask to not be in my section.

Anyway. Thats life. There you go. My first bad customer. WOOT!

Downdate?

So update.

I am getting better and more confident when it comes to serving. But I still am not making amazing money and that only makes me a little worried. It mostly has to do with the fact that the managers don't want to scare me off and are giving me the slightly easier sections. I had my first 5-top. Not huge, but the most I have had to serve at a time. I think I did rather well, in my opinion. I am getting a long with my co-workers. Though the evening manager, the guy who hired me, has a tendancy to use "colorful metafores" (NAME THAT FILM!) giggle.

Classes are moving on. I can follow the material and that makes me feel good and confident about the semester. Puls I am not insanely bored with the lectures. Another good thing. That was my failing in Ornithology. Though I imagine that my Insect Diversity class is going to get a lot harder. I've already caught a mantis, a walking stick, a non descrpit beetle and a monarch butterfly...oh, and a moth. Not I just have to pin them up. Kirsti thinks that I am a terrible person. I bet if the bug was on her she wouldn't mind.

Oh well, life is getting into a groove and thats the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it (uh-huh, uh-huh).

But there are uncomfortable things too. Why can't anyone feel this way about me? Yay for being vague! I became a master of this my High School Senior Year...ha...

Classes

The first week of classes. Isn't it wonderful? Apart from being really stressed by all the new things I have to learn from work, I get to freak out about all the money I have to spend on books, how I'm going to get from my class in the hospital to my class in LeFevre hall in 10 minutes(a 20 min walk). I also get to wonder whether or not I'm going to be able to attend Institute and One voice. Not a whole lot of happy things right now. I do have a class with Bro. Dr. Bruce Barrett as my professor. Thats kind of fun. And even thought they all seem like they will be pretty hard, all my classes seem pretty interesting so far and not out of my ability range. Wait till I get to Biochem. Eww...

So there was an amazingly happy thing today. It lasted 5 minutes and I am going to share it with you.

"The Return of the 17-year Cicadas"

This is hilarious. Enya to the life of one of the most disgusting bugs (excuse me, "Insects") in existence.

Thats about it really. It's very hot and all my classes are far far away. I have to start working on my own by Friday and that scares me. And I still have to get my books from online, return the ones I spent too much money on, make my first car payment, and prepare a Sunday School lesson.

Breathe, Sarah. Just Breathe.

Oh! Joel's mom is hot!

(That ones for you Erin...good times)

First Week

I have finished my first week working at Bob Evand. Actually, according to their weird system, the week ends on Wednesday and starts on Thursday.

Anyway, monday was dull. Two hours of what they call e-learning. A really boring and only slightly informative computer training program. I like it better than movie gallerys but only because it makes me laugh and it has pictures. It's a little reminicent of those computer programs for kids that we had to do in elementry school. "Press the next button to continue." "Excellent job!" etc.

Tuesday was where I actually got into it. It was quite akward. I had to tail my server, who is quite nice, by the way. And he's really funny. I get the picture of one of those show choir gamer nerds. But only because he likes to belt out the current song playing while he's in the back and he told me that he loves to play computer games. This day was a day of firsts. I got my first tip from a nice elderly couple who heard that I was training. They handed me a tip personally. When people do this I am allowed to accept it. I also had my first big embarassing moment. We had a 25 top table(another first) and I was trying to get h2o to all these people. I had 10 glasses of water on a tray. I leaned over to get a woman her water and my tray tipped. I got cold ice water all over the back of this nice little old lady. She was nice about it. But I just know that my face was flaming. One of the other servers, Kim, said it's better for that to happen when your new and you have an excuse than later when you feel even more stupid. I also served my first people all on my own. Sadly I didn't get their tip. Anyway it was a very long day.

Wednesday was not as exciting. I spent 4 hours learning more markings and more about the menu.

Thursday I served a few tables on my own when it was slow. It was a farily busy day of following Spence and taking orders along side him.

Friday was much of the same as well as going over some tests. It was kind of slow.

And Saturday was me going over even more tests. Fun Stuff.

It's a lot to take in and I'm supposed to be taking my own tables this friday. I'm a little nervous. But I also feel that I will do better once I can learn on my own from my own mistakes. Having someone constantly looking over your shoulder can have it's advantages. But I feel that I need to start flying solo in order for me to get the hang of things as well as start making my own money.

Exciting.

I know many of you server siblings have already given me tips. But if you have anymore I am open to anything to make things move a little smother and make me more money. Spence has already given my several little ideas that will make the customer happier and tip better.

Well, thats about it. I cant wait till I get out of the insecure phase and into the "I know I can do this on my own" phase.

If you're really interested

Here are the pictures of my journal entries on my road trip. Read if you are really interested. That way I don't have to tell any of you avid readers (all 3 1/2 of you) the whole story.
Click on the the pictures to see them bigger. Sorry that my handwriting is so terrible.
This is a rare look into a me that I don't usually post online. Sometimes that me gets out there. These entris may also seem a little boring. I tend to blaze through big events because I hate spending hours writing. It causes my wrists to hurt.

Anyway.

The last four pages are what I put in my journal in the way of a scrapbook...sort of. Memories that I wanted to get out there right away instead of tossing them into a bin to be sorted later.

Catching Up

I feel horrible that it has been so long (please don't hate me Emily). I had full intentions of typing a wonderfully lengthy entry after my road trip, but things just sort of took off and the free time that I've had has been dedicated to friends and relxaing a bit. I need to make my sentences shorter. I have decided this.

Lets start with the most rescent events in my life.

1. I have a new job. It's official. I am going to work at Bob Evans. I wish that I could say that I am excited, but who gets excited for work? Especially when it is a job that you are not famaliar with. But it will be good for me and once I get on the floor I hope to be making at least a little more money that I was at Movie Gallery. Even though I am not excited, I am extremly happy to be gone from the Gallery. I've been there long enough to realize that I was neer getting paid enough to do all that I did for that place. I am greally going to miss the free rentals though.

2. I have a new car!! This is significantly more exciting that the last one. It took a lot of paperwork and jumping through hoops to make it officially mine. This includes taking out a loan which is something completly new to me. But I now have a means of transportation that is all my own!! In my excessive merdlyness, I have dubbed him Sirius Black. Go ahead and laugh. I feel no shame.
3. Steven is married!! I have another sister! Exciting, yet still a little weird. My brother has a wife. Crazy. It was a good time to spend with family.

4. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows was one of the most amazing books I have ever read! It was all that I wanted and more. And though there is a sense of emptiness, I also feel complete. It would be great to have mre books, but we most deffinatly do not want a repeat of the Wheel of Time Series or all of the contunious Star Wars series containing the main characters who should really be dead by now. I'm happy with the ending and the fact that she is going to write an enciclopedia is enough for me. It was so much fun dressing up this time and getting swept away in the hype! I love being obsessed enough to do things like this. Here are links to some pictures, courtsey of Emilys Blog.

Ben and Me

Bellatrix

Our Order of the Phoenix. Or D.A. if you want.

Nymphadora

Me and Ben Again He was the first one to get his book.

Luna "Loony" Lovegood

Harry aka Kyle

The gang reading our hearts out!



5. I had a wonderful time on my road trip to Michigan with Juli. That in itself will take a full entry to cover and will probably happen soon. I just don't have the energy to do it at this time. I'll Porbably a Facebook album that I will put up a link for (okay, I just did). If you really care to hear about the epic tale of love, loss and triumph, call me. You all have my number.

Well, thats about it for now. Life is rolling on. Look for my next entry where I will put pictures of my entries for my road trip if you really desire to read them.

ME OUT!

Good and Not So Good

well, right now it actually feels like everything is not so good. I hate being poor. I hate never having enough money and above all I hate Mizzou because I am not getting a refund again this year and I deffinatly should be. If I can get my act together I sould be moving out sometime soon. And then theres a car. I got a call from Kelly White about a car that she is trying to sell. It sounds awesome and is $2000. I want to say yes. But I can't pay 2000 up front. I thought that with my refund I would be able to swing $1200 or so and then somehow get the rest somehow. I keep getting more and more upset as I think about this and realize that instead of a refund, I owe $600 dollars to MU. So, I'm back to only $800 by the end of august when I wanted to be a $1000 and thats because of stupid movie gallery and not making any money at that stupid place. I blame it all on movie gallery. I have been saving up hard.

So now what do I do. I would really like to buy Kelly's car from her, but thats not going to happen. And I would really like to not have to add school fees to what I have to pay monthly. Lets see, on top of books, I'll probably owe close to $1000. I want to cry. How did everyone else get through this and Im here? Theres no whay that I can move out and pay for...

Rent
Car(not Kellys)
Insurance
Cell Phone
Food
Gas

And on top of it all, about $250 a month to MU.

How does this always happen to me? Why is it me that always gets screwed over? I ask again, what am I supposed to do? Cancel this road trip that me and Juli have been planning since the beginning of this year? Forget about moving out? No offence to Mom and Dad, but I need to get out of here. Be car-less? That would help a lot of things.

It's hard to believe that yesterday, I was feeling so happy. Harry Potter is close, but thats yet another thing that I have to spend money on. This road trip is close. But thats more money gone and time that I'm not working earning my measley $6.75 and hour for all the work I do for that place. They can't tell me that they can't evenr get me to $7.00 and hour because my numbers aren't high enough! Thats the biggest load of bull that I have gotten from that place. Well they can have it back. After my trip is my two weeks and then I am outta there.

But where do I go from there? Last week, going into a serving job sounded good. But then I talk to mom and she seems to think that it's no good and I should try for something else. And I hear all these complaints from everyone about serving jobs and not getting hours and haveing to work doubles and haveing to pick up shifts all to get by.

Im just so scared of life right now. Things that were all okay a week ago are now falling apart before my eyes and I can't handel it.

Sorry for the downer, but it seems that there isn't much good.

Harry Potter and the Making of Wands

So , like the nerd that I am, I bought the Harry Potter & the Order of the Pheonix soundtrack first thing Tuesday morning. That means 12:00 in the afternoon. And I must say, it is amazing. I think that Prisoner is still my favorite and John Williams best soundtrack in these rescent repetative years. Goblet was okay with Patrick Doyle..."Henry the V" and all that. But I find that I only really like 4 or 5 songs on that CD. Mr. Nicholas I-do-mainly-horror-films Hooper has done an amazing job with this soundtrack, making it all his own. His themes perfectly portrey the film, it's essence and it's characters.

And because I have done this for the last two movies, I also went to the 12:01 premire of the movie. And I declare myself dissapointed with the number of people who thought the movie was disjointed and didn't do the book justice. I couldn't dissagree more. Here is a link to my Facebook movie review page. On it is my review for the movie. I don't want to have to write a new review for every one of my blogs. And for some reason I can't figure out how to copy and paste onto this stupid thing.

Anyway, onward to the wands part. I promised Emily that I would post a picture of her wand so she can see it and tell me what she want's changed. Here it is along with pictures of my almost completed wand.

MY WAND

EMILY'S WAND

And that's all for now folks...check back later to see if I ever figure out who I'm going to live with and where I am going to work.

New Music and That Midnight Temptress the Moon

My new free CD's came in. Keane-Under the Iron Sea and Fall Out Boy-Infinity On High. I have decided that Keane is my second favorite band right now. I love getting new music and finding that you like more than the three songs that you bought it for.

I watched Driving Lessons with Kirsti last night. A really cute movie with a really cute Rupert Grint in it. And a girl with the coolest name ever: Bryony. It also had Nicholas Farrell from Chariots of Fire an Julie Walters (Molly Weasley). I think I want to name my first daughter Byrony. Me and Kirsti also decided that we liked the idea of naming one of our kids Nebula. Anyway...

Afterwards I made my way to Movie Gallery to return my movie and made the mistake of going inside. Mike told me of last nights fiasco with counting all the money. He doesn't know how, but he screwed it all up again. I felt really bad for him, and being the kind of person that I am sometimes, I decided that I would go over everything with him to make sure that he got everything right so he wouldn't be suspended or fired. Poor Mike. It's all his bossy wifes fault really.

After spending an hour more at the Gallery than I was intending I exited the store and saw the only thing that could keep me from going straight home to bed. The moon. She was smiling down at me in the most inviting way that I couldn't refuse her. The night air was abnormally cool and the stars winked happily. So I got in the car and drove to my hearts content, making my way down silent neighborhood streets that lead nowhere and following my urge find that place inside me that has lain dormant for far too long. I listened to my new music and found new roads and finally had to stop because I had run myself out of gas and felt guilty about it. After filling up, I went home a happy and content person for the time being.

July promises to be an exciting month. I'm more at peace with life than I have been in a while.

I'm alive, I promise

Sorry that I had another dry spell. I've been spending a lot of time working and my free time is spent sleeping or reading Harry Potter. I am trying very hard to get through all the books before the last one. And I'm only halfway through book 4! I'm not sure of I will make it. Even with my method of skimming a lot of parts. I just don't want to miss anything. So since most of the people who read this are either not in my ward or are going to find out today anyway, I feel no guilt in finally announcing my release as the Music Chairman of the University Ward. Thank goodness for that. As musical as I am I really don't think that I am cut out for that calling. I am amazed is looking back at my journals that it has been almost a year since I was called to that. How time flies. My new calling is a Sunday School teacher for Gospel Docterine. Yeah. Another in a long line of Lambson teachers. I am really nervous. I am teaching for the first time today. Not my first time ever. I taught in Young Womens a couple of times. But this is my first time teaching a more sophisticated crowd. I am hoping that since it's about the Atonement and the Garden of Gethsamne, that I will be able to just let the spirit work it's wonders as I stumble nervously along.

I don't know how I will do as a teacher. I'm not very good at public speaking. And I alternate weeks with Ross Redfern. He does a really good job and is a lot older than me. If I were alternating with one of the younger girls closer to my age I would be less intimidated. Oh well. I'll just keep praying and hope that I dont end way too early. I would rather take up too much time than not enough. Especially with this lesson.

Anyway, I am almost done with Kirsti's murder mystery thing. I could write a novel with the story I have come up with. After I am done I can finally relax and get back to writing that short story I thought up thats based on a crazy dream I had. I am also trying to prepare extensively for Harry Potter. I have watched all the movies now and, as I mentioned previously, I am on book 4. I am working on my costume. I need to make my bottle cap necklase, my raddish earings, my Ravenclaw t-shirt and my wand(which will be made from a stick from the back yard. It will be Persimon brance, brittle, containing the...um...bark of a persimon tree. A very magical substance...okay not really. If I could choose a magical core for my wand, it would probably be a Pheonix tear or a dragon heartstring or something like that).

Now that I am done expressing my nerdiness, I need to go and be nervous some more before I go to church.

Tonight I Can Fly

Written while bored at work last night.

The sun shines in a perfect circle of flaming tangerine as the earth orbit takes it beyond view below the horizon. It turns the surrounding sky azure and rose, leaving in it's wake a few pinpricks of light; the stars are ready to shine in all their wishing glory. I can't wait to get out of the dusty workplace and into the summer night which waits with a promise of freedom. I love the fragrant air on my face as I blur past the onlooking streetlights on lonely streets. I love how the moon shows me the way. A silent listener as I let my voice rise with the music in perfect harmony. It is a night worthy of letting myself take the long way home through sleepy back roads, coming at last to a soft bed in a cool dim lit room with too many good books to choose from. Letting sleep draw over me like a soft blanket. And then falling to that place from which I will wake in the morning with the remnants of beautiful and exotic worlds dancing in my consciousness.

haha...oops!

okay, for those of you who actually click on the links in my entries may have noticed that the RHCP song was in fact a link to Muse again.(thanks to butz jr. for pointing this out). You can never get enough muse, but in case you really care, the problem is now fixed and you can enjoy the Chili Peppers.

To Appease the Masses

Apparently I have avid readers and need to write more frequently to keep them from sending me hate mail.

Marconi plays the mamba, Listen to the radio. Don't you remember, we built this city on rock and roll!

Summer is rolling along. I had two wonderful days last week.

The first Kirsti already posted(for those of you who read her blog also). We Alice and Wonderlanded it in the backyard playing croquet except we had normal mallets and balls. She won once and I won once. We then took it upon ourselves to wash the rolled-in-dead-bird stench off of Trissie with a hose and some dog shampoo. I don't think that she enjoyed it very much. Feeling bad for her we took her for a walk around the park across the stree to dry her off. All attempts to accomplish this natural drying failed since she ended up jumping in the creek at the end.

Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a gilrfriend that I had in February of last year, it's not confidential. I've got potential. A rushin', a rushin' around.

On Saturday, me and Juli went to The Upper Crust for lunch to discuss the details of our upcoming road trip which I am getting very excited for. We went to Coldstone for dessert. Wonderful food, wonderful ice cream, wonderful company. Good time, great oldies. I also watched two really bad moives that I foolishly thought would have some quality. "Blood and Chocolate" and "Ghost Rider". They both had really neat effects, but the dialogue made me want to vomit and the story lines were sketchy at best. I was greatly dissapointed (and yes, you were right Steven. Feel free to say I told you so).

I'll be there as soon as I can, but I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before.


Even work hasn't been too bad lately, though I will take this moment to mention that I still do not have the raise that I was supposed to get a couple months ago. But with the hours that I have been getting I still hope to have a car by the end of the summer! Isn't that exciting?

Okay, I hope that makes certain people happy.

And because I just bought this song and love it so very very much, here's the music video for "Snow (Hey Oh)" by the RHCP.

Time

It's a funny thing, time is. It seems, in the summer, to take on a new form that it refused to assume during the semester. It has now morphed from the tortise into the hare. Zipping along until it thinks it has a fair lead, stopping off for a leasurly rest and then rushing in a panic to catch up. This makes for an erratic living experience.

I'm spending a lot of time at work, and not only at my store but also at Cherry Hill Which has the customer traffic of my back yard. I can get all the morning chores done in fifteen minutes and then I spend my time thinking about cleaning and changing the color of a post-it with a red pen instead. It's nice that it's so quiet, but it makes mornings that are already dull even duller.

I'M FINALLY ENROLLED!!!
Physiology
Entamology
Agricultural Law
Financial planning
I can't say that I am really excited for any of these. Oh well.

Still don't have the raise that I was supposed to get a few months ago and I blame this fully on my district manager who is a complete jerk. His best interestes are deffinatly only his own and he doesn't care for his employees at all. I really think we should consider the possibility of an uprising. That woud show him. Too bad I don't have the gumption...something I could really use sometimes.

I saw the new Pirates movie. It was good. Better then the second but not as good as the first. I went with people from church...who are my friends?

I'm not really sure who my friends are right now. Do I have any? Real friends? I think a few but they are all moving on and I am still stuck in the "wanting things to be they way they used to be in he summer" phase. Maybe I will never get out of it. Only because I don't have any stationary friends to lean on. They are all hanging out with the hare of time. and I am the slow and steady torise, except I probably wont win the race.

Anyway, those are my only concerns right. Life is pretty okay. I want to get out of columbia for a day or two. I really can't wait for the road trip me and sis Juli are planning.

Come on life. Show me what you got. Make me burst out of myself.

Moods

I hate hormones. Right now they are not my friend.

I'm not generally a moody person thanks to regulatory hormone pills I was perscribed by my doctor for my anemia. But now that I'm not taking them I've been having these irregular mood swings.

For example, I cried at the end of The Shining (the 1997 one with Steven Weber from Wings). Who does that? I'm a regular weeper when it comes to movies, but I'm not sure that vrying to Stephen King is normal, unless it's at the Langoleers because the movie was such a waste of made for T.V. time.

Sunday was just terrible with a flood of "I'm alone and have no friends" feelings that weren't helped with my dream where one of my best friends ignored me the whole time.

I came to work tonight in a generally good mood but by the end of the shift I was throughly annoyed and feeling an emotion bordering on melancholy. Even Mike's constant good mood and shining aura didn't seem to lift my spirits as it usually does. My manager came in late and immediatly started telling me that I was doing something wrong because the rules had changed yet again. The number of petty rules that can get you trown out has been mounding up for the last few months and I find many of them pointless and tiresome. And my moodiness caused me to cat out unnaturally. I started arguing with the boss lady about the stupidness of the rules and got even more annoyed when she tried to mollify me with her made up excuses and examples illustrating why it makes sense (I learned a while ago that most of these "illustrations" are just her way of trying to keep the employee happy.). I finally just said, "whatever, I still think it's stupid but there is nothing that I can do about it so I'm going to let it go." But se still felt that she needed to explain herself and was distressed by my obvious change from smiling follower to scowling mutineer.

Oh well, this too shall pass and I will go back to having normal emotions.

And might I just add that it's hard for me to graciously accept the people that my "best friends" are becoming lately...

Lookin Up!

Okay, I just have to insert this from Dave Barry's 24 Blog which is one of the funniest things on earth and makes up for his not writing a weekly column for the Miami Herald anymore...

"CTU's motto should be 'D'oh!'"

This will not be a 24 entry, but those of you who are watching this season with any regularity should understand.

So, things are going to be better from now on...hopefully. I still, still, STILL can't figure out why I can't enroll for my classes. But all of the ones I am signed up for are still miraculously open.

I am done with ornithology!!! The class that has controlled my entire life for the last few months. I'm pretty sure that I will manage a passing grade (passing being at least a D). But no matter what happens, I am not going to take it again. I will enroll super early next winter semester and get into mammology. I'm done with birds.

In some amazing twist of fate (or rather a twist of me actually doing my work), I managed a 90% out of my research paper(I would have gotten a 95% if I had been able to turn it in on time. CURSE YOU COMPUTER WITH NOT ENOUGH MEMORY!!). I am always amazed at how I am able to pull stuff like this off, it's how it's always been in my English and other writing classes. Maybe their standards are low. Or at least lower than I expect. I would once again like to thank Mr. Stover for making my senior year of high school a living hell so that I can be a competent B.S.er...um,I mean writer. Along with that, I think I did pretty well on my Ornithology final. I finished in an hour, which could be awesome or detrimental. I guess I'll have to see, but I felt that I was sufficient in my explanations. And unlike the last two tests, I felt that I actually knew the answers to 98% of the questions. Thank goodness for my procrastinating heart telling me that I have to deny it just this once.

The three finals I still have to take are still looming, but not as much as Ornithology was. I have meteorology this afternoon at 1:00 which I'm not studying for at the moment. But this is my least difficult test. It's only 50 questions multiple choice(like all the other tests), covers two units, and I still have three hours to study for it. It will probably only take me 1.5. Man, I love easy A, entry level classes. I've about used up my quota for those, so I'm basking in the rapidly fading glow.

My other two finals loom more like a cluster of light gray fluffy clouds than an oncoming storm. Not too threatening and I still have plenty of time for study, which I will try very hard mot to put off...but my reserves of determination were almost completely depleted in my ornithology fervor.

Well that's all I got for this week so far. I may take a moment and make note of how I think I did in my other finals, but I may too busy dancing on campus because it's almost the end of another semester!

Over and Out.

Last Days

I cannot express enough in words how lightened my heart is by the fact that three hours from now I will be done with classes for the semester. Finals week is almost a light at the end of this weeks long dark and dank tunnel. (*giggle* I'm making rhythmic patterns on the space key to "Brighter than sunshine" as I think)

After yesterdays soggy dreariness (that left my feet more a prune than they have ever been in my entire life of long baths) the earth smells like memories of Shelter Gardens. Pine, wet earth and a blend of all manner of green things. I could close my eyes and imagine myself elsewhere were it not for the intrusive sounds of campus construction. It seems that I am doomed to be followed by an incomplete state of refurbishment. First Hickman High, now Mizzou. Life in a constant state of costly upgrades.

Several people have told me that I am a good writer. Complements are always encouraging. And I am great full for them If only these people read my more modest self which dwells in the pages of my journal and my black notebook(yes, the black notebook has returned in full force...for some time actually-see December 6th and 7th 2006 entries). It's less than lovely. More of a raw self rather than the polished one I usually present here. Not that I'm not honest here, just in a less random erratic and more eloquent way. Different faces for the same person. I think it's healthy to be a little multi-colored. The same people that tell me that I am a good writer say that I should so more with it. I've tried this before and it usually starts out good and then comes to a screeching halt. It's because I don't have the patience to get through that hard parts. But I think that this summer I'll try again and maybe see it through to some kind of end thins time. Who knows...we'll see.

And I have to mention how sad it made me that on Myspace I'm not even in any of my few friends top 20. I actually don't care that much about Myspace, but I had an irrational wave of unlovedness for a few moments there worth noting because it was so silly of me.

Learning

You think that after all the grief that I have gone through in life that is attributable to my procrastination, I would have learned my lesson by now. Maybe this time I will remember how awful the last 4 days have been and next time I will get things done as soon as possible. It's just so easy to say that I have months of time and wait to do that research or to actually enroll for next semester. Then it becomes days and then hours.

Have I ever mentioned how much Mizzou tends to piss me off at this time of year? I have all my classes picked out and they are all still open and then I go to enroll and the stupid "new and convenient" myZou system tells me that there is a hold on my account and doesn't even tell me why. So even when I try to get things done it flies back in my face giving me a substantial life bruise and making everything terrible.

I tried to finish my report for my research and the computer tells me that I can't because it ate too much and is full of it.

Will life not be happy again? In the meantime, the days and hours drag on, sneering as they pass by because all I want is night and summer. Driving and trying to catch up with the moon(even this has been taken away from we with gas at $3.85).

I want the warm nights with symphonies of the earth. I want camping and fireworks and lazy, do nothing days. Movies with friends, leisurely breakfasts, waking up and realizing that you have no obligation to be a human being and the cosmos wont be thrown out of alignment if you morph into sloth and spend the day hanging from a tree sleeping. I want good books that I can finish in a week rather than a semester because I have time to read.

It will be here soon. I just have to wade through the crucial ornithology final that determines whether or not I pass the class with a C or a D and zip past the inconveniences that are my other finals. I'm hungry and don't to go to work.

Turning the Double Deuce

Wait...would that be 40?

So I hit a spot this morning. A small lick of happiness and excitement at the person I'm becoming. But it was fleeting. Like the flicker of adrenaline you get when you think you might run into someone and barely side-step them in time. weird comparison, I know. but I felt that today and wondered at how strange it was to see the person and not know which way to go so you feel a tingling go down your arms and into your stomach as you make a choice and hope it's the right one.

I think once you turn 18, birthdays stop feeling the way that they used to. Like Christmas where there is this flare of anticipation every once in a while at that time of year...but it begins to diminish in intensity and frequency as you get older. I felt a little excited yesterday morning...even happy as I drove all the way to eagle bluffs and was rewarded with the sight of many happy little miracles.

Thanks to facebook and the calls from my sisters, I felt happy at times during the day yesterday.

The happiness left me as I pulled into the parking garage and realized that I had to stop listening to music and get my rear-end to class.

I look back at the last few months. At the insignificant-in-the-big-scheme-of-things ups and downs. And part of me smiles at some of the truths that I have learned about myself. Then I see all the things I still need to learn. And all of the things that I wish would happen to me. What I wish I could really feel. And I think that's what brings up that irrational sad feeling that I wish would go away. Clouds in the sky don't help. Silent dark things. No thunder, no rain. Just pointless and depressing. And then there is the threat of work. I am determined to stay there until July so I can say that I was there for two years. Then it's time to get out my my life-sucking, bad paying job.

Understanding

For the last few weeks, I have been worrying extensively about homosexuality and my views on it. And the subject being brought to my attention several times in the last few days caused me to seek a better understanding.

For most of my life I have thought what my religion told me to think. That homosexuality is wrong. But I never really understood why. It was just one of those things. And because I was uncomfortable with the whole thing, I never really looked into it to decide why I followed. Like I did with the word of wisdom and other standards.

So the other night I decided that I needed to go to my Father in Heaven about this. He, better than any one person, would be able to tell me why homosexuality is something that the church doesn't agree with. I didn't expect the answer to come where and when it did.

I was sitting in geology today, writing in my little notebook instead of paying attention to talk about glaciers. I got onto the topic of my friend and how I still don't know how to respond to his questions concerning my belief. As I was writing, it came to me.

It's not the idea of one man being attracted to another man that I see as wrong. Or one man loving another man in more than just a friendly manner. What bothers me is the sexual part of it all. Hearing my friend say "I can't wait to find the right person to have sex with" upset me. This is why.

Premarital sex is wrong. Between any two people. I firmly believe (me, myself...not just because I was told this is the way) that Sexual interactions between a man and a woman are sacred. The purpose of this is to bring a new soul into a body that they may have a life on this earth. And then we are to rear them the best we can. But in the world today, sex is something most people do only for the pleasure of it. With no intention of having a child. Most creatures in the world only "have sex" so that they can procreate, not for the pleasure. Sexual intercourse in meant for us as humans to have children. The fact that it is a pleasurable experience is simply all the better for us. It hurts enough for us as females to have a child. I think that it is a blessing that it isn't excruciatingly painful to create the child in the first place.

Here's how this connects with homosexuality. Those who live with that particular lifestyle complain to those against premarital sex that they can't legally get married and therefore cannot have sex within the bonds of marriage. But then does that mean they only want to get married so they can have sex without guilt? Anatomically, the male and female human bodies were made so that only a MALE and a FEMALE can create life through sex. It simply cannot happen between two males or two females. So the only reason two people of the same sex are having sex is for the pleasure of it? I'm not saying that they don't want children. But that they are having sex with each other for the wrong reason. If you truly love someone, you don't have to show it by having sex with them. That goes for everyone. If you love someone enough you can wait until you are married. And if you don't what is the point of wasting such a sacred act on someone that you may never be with again or care about in the future? How would you like to have to tell the one you marry that they were not good enough to wait for?

Sorry that this is such a long soapbox. I feel very strongly about this topic and now you know why. I can tell those that ask why I feel that it is wrong. Sorry if this was awkward for anyone to read. I didn't know how else to say things without being annoyingly vague.

To be clear, I am not trying to tear down homosexuals. This was never my intention. And this entry may sound like I am flinging stones. That's not what it is. I just feel like I came to an understanding and that is always a liberating feeling.

P.S.-note that at the beginning of this entry I said that I don't mind men loving other men. It's the way you are. It's simply then intentions I have problems with. And that goes for all people. homo or hetero.