Thursday, October 28, 2010

There's good, there's bad, and then there's Sadie...

This is a really frustrating time.

I realized today that I only have about $20 and 1/2 a tank of gas to my name (yes, tanks of gas are currency now).

I need MONEY.

Before I can get money, I need a job.

Before I can get a job, I need to meet with the people I want to work for.

Before I can meet with those people, I need them to be at their places of work.

Do you see how I have only a little control over this situation?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow HAS to be the day. I hate feeling like I am doing nothing with my life. That might be nice for a day or two or three. But after a week? No.

I did laundry and moved some of my stuff up into the room I am staying in. But that's all.

In the WHOLE DAY that's all I did and I hate myself for it.

I love that I am home. I love to have family there that I can talk with and spend time with. This is what I have been missing!

But I also haven't motivated myself to go walking at all so I feel lazy. And then I don't do anything really productive and feel even more lazy. Then I realize that I have spent almost the whole day with my dog who does nothing more than SLEEP-and I realize that I am about as active and productive as moss. But even moss is photosynthesizing as it sits there. I'm barely even metabolizing the food I've eaten today.

Tomorrow has potential just as every day does. What kills me is that today was going to be FULL of things I needed to do. But what did I do? I spent most of my time on my computer. Here I am again. I know that I said I missed unlimited wireless internet, but the truth is it makes me feel like I have no life. When I DO have unlimited internet (like I did when I went to the library) I did nothing but spend time watching TV shows and read blogs and Skype. It was okay in New Hampshire because going to the Library was a novelty. But here?

*sigh*

Why am I complaining?

I just need to get my little tush in gear!

And then, there's Sadie. Awwww...SADIE! Gosh, I love that little ball of quivering fur.

TO DO LIST!

1. Give my little ball of quivering fur a bath
2. Try to contact my future Branch President
3. Try to contact possible employers for my 2 months home
4. Do some unpacking
5. Look up places to live
6. Research for that research paper I was supposed to have finished by the end of this NH experience and didn't finish and need to have done in the next few weeks.

Okay. Tomorrow is going to be good.

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