Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It's kind of nice knowing I don't have to post every day.

I'm home now. Finally. It was an epic journey. My computer is out of it's 4 day hibernation. Sadie is lying on the bed next to me. Trissie is lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. I am showered and wearing clean clothes. Coldplay is playing on my iTunes (Did I tell you that the main reason I cried so much as I left Bear Brook was because of "Fix You" and "Into the West"?).

All is right with the world.

And yet, there is a small emptiness. Not a gaping hole, by any means. I'm here and my soul is complete.

But there is something missing. It will soon be filled with the time I send at home, the hours I put in at whatever part-time job I manage to acquire, and all the internet I could ever want.

For now, it's a knowledge that I left some part of me behind. I know this is a natural feeling. That doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't help that being idle make me feel a little anxious.

It's also a feeling that though I feel home and there is much that I missed, I am somewhat apart from everyone and everything around me. I'm here temporarily but then gone again. Separate.

While some things feel natural and I can laugh right along, other things feel strange and I don't relate. That's okay. It's just...different. And that's what I left behind in New Hampshire.

Despite the slightly sad sound of this post, I am VERY happy to be home! To be with Sadie! To laugh with family!

To be here, in the now.

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