Thursday, October 29, 2009

"Gentle leaves, gentles leave, please array a path for me. The woods are growing thick and fast around."

It is a gray day.

A rainy day.

And I wouldn't mind if I weren't stuck on campus all day. If I were at home curled up in my quilt then I would feel better. Maybe add a little hot chocolate in the mix. Perfect.

As it is, I am sitting at a cold, hard table with a mediocre lunch waiting for me in my damp backpack and my feet are cold and wet. I am awaiting the time for my 3 hour class to arrive and dreading it.

Things to look forward to...Watching Glee with Kirsti while skypeing in about two hours. Pot Roast Stroganoff after class. Pumpkin carving. A new episode of Supernatural. That maybe makes it worth it.

One of my favorite things in the world is discovering new and wonderful music. There is nothing I love better than purchasing a CD on a whim and then falling in love with it and listening to it over and over again.

This has happened recently with me and The Decemberists. I recently bought their 2009 album for really cheap and I am in love. Their lyrics are deep and melancholy. Their themes epic. Their songs often follow the story telling theme, which I LOVE. It makes it so much more interesting to listen to. And they fill their music with an emotion that is devoid in most musicians these days.

Okay, I will stop now.

There are so many things to do right now. Not RIGHT NOW. But before a certain time. And I just keep putting them off and do the more urgent things first. Then when I have TIME to do the things I need to, I do something else.

I wish I could say that I can't help it, but I can.

I just don't.

And now all the worrying starts. I've started telling people about how I'm leaving in January for 10 months. It makes it more real and scary. There are so many things to worry about. What if my car isn't fit to make it out there? What then? How am I going to pay for all the things that I need to, with the $200 a week that I make at work? And that amount is going to go down now that it is the slow season.

Now I find out that we are going to have to pay for the expensive flea treatment for the pets. I can't afford that every three months. I can't afford to pay all the extra money that I suddenly owe.

I hate money.

Despite all that I need to look forward to the things that I can.

It's almost Halloween. That something, right?

Sigh.

3 comments:

Kirsti said...

I know exactly how you feel about the looming need for money but not having enough. that's definitely me right now...Anyways, hang in there! (:

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