12:56 am

It is quite late (or early depending on how you look at it) and I really should be in bed. But I feel it is my obligation to expel some emotions. Otherwise I may be up much longer contemplating them.

First of all, I am still struggling to manage kind thoughts towards a co-worker of mine. I find it an immense struggle to contain the urge to knock her upside the head several times a night. Her usual complaining and inability to do her job the way she should made tonight rather unhappy. I don't mean to say that she is never an agreeable person or that she is a terrible server. On the contrary. She can be quite nice and helpful when the day puts her in a cheerful disposition. And she is great with the customers. I just feel that she complains far too much about the work she has to do and about the people she has to work with as if she deserved better and she were the only server with these problems. We all have to deal with our feather-brained friday/saturday night manager. We all have to deal with being double sat and feeling like we have too much to so and not enough hands to do it all. We all have to listen to the grill cook complain. Griping about it is not going to make things any better and it tends to make everybody cranky.

Plus theres the fact that she complains about work not getting done by the morning people, but she leaves things undone when she closes.

I am going to stop my rant now because my goal is to stop thinking ill of her.

I just finished watching "Becoming Jane" for the second time. First of all, it is a wonderful movie that all Jane Austen lovers should see. Secondly, if you have not seen it then the following may ruin the ending. Proceed with caution.

I think that it is even more tragic the second time around because you know what is coming. I cried for the last twenty minutes because I knew that they would not be together and I knew how heartbreaking it would be in the end when they saw each other again. I couldn't contain myself when he introduces his daughter. I can't even imagine how it must feel to lose the person you love most in the world, no matter the reason. But I cant help comparing this story somewhat to the books I have been re-reading: "Twilight" and "New Moon". If you have not read these and plan to, the following may also ruin these as well.

I agree with Kirsti in that no matter how handsome and dashing and perfect and adoring Edward is, he is not good for Bella. I know that she thinks that he is and that he loves her unconditionally. But the thing is, he is her drug. Bella got it wrong when she called Jacob her drug from her sadness. Edward is like an addiction. Jacob is real. Jacob is what heals Bella and no matter how much she loves Edward, she would be much better off being with Jacob.

With Jacob she has no reason to changer herself. She could be human. She could have children. She knows she can be happy with him just like people who are trying to quite an addiction know how much happier they can be without the drug. They just don't want to try hard enough and give up that which they crave.

I know I got a little off track, I just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head. I am going to bed now since it is now a quarter after 1:00 in the morning. And I no longer have 2:00 church. It's at 10:00 now.

Goodnight.