On Valentines Day 2011

One could argue that the celebration of St. Valentine's Day has become sickeningly commercial. It focuses on professing love through superficial materialism. It hammers into our heads the concept that love between two significant others is the only love that matters on this day.

We participate if trivial rituals of affection on a day that commemorates the martyrdom of a Catholic Saint.

And I suppose you all think that this is going to be a bitter pill of a post on how I hate Valentine's Day because I never have anyone romantic in my life.

PSYCH!

No. Really. I was just kidding before. Despite the fact that all of the above is true, I have more than that to say on the topic. And believe it or not, it has nothing to do with my feeling sad and lonely on V-Day.

Well, it helps that on the actual day of February 14th, I was sleeping away sickness and playing the role of the invalid. But the day before, the day I REALLY spent celebrating, I watched my Teen Girl Squad and loved it. I ate some candy that Mom and Dad sent me. And I made little Valentine's notes to send to my friends and family. I had a good, quiet time.

Sure St. Valentine's Day has become grossly commercial, but what holiday hasn't? Does there exist a major national celebration that has not found some way to play the market? St. Patrick's Day resonates with traditions of drunkenness. Easter is all about a little bunny who brings you candy and painted eggs. How does THAT make sense? Don't even get me started on the Autumn holidays and Christmas.

The point is, every single holiday has become a tragic representation of the western worlds glut on all things profitable.

But we still haven't really gotten to my point. Not yet.

I lied last year. At some point in my Blog post I said that I wasn't feeling resentful about being alone and there being a holiday to celebrate that fact. Yes, I had a good time. I had good food. It was grand. But I read a journal post that reflected my true feelings which were similar to what they had been ever since 6th grade when they stopped making us give little "be my valentine" cards to everyone in the class (what does that even MEAN? Be my Saint? Be my Martyr? I'm sure there is a historical context but can someone please explain it to me?). I hated that I was alone. I hated that I had yet to have a boyfriend and that I was seemingly not worthy of being loved.

That was last year. Don't worry, I am working my way up to my point soon.

This year, my celebration of St. Valentines Day represents my new take on the holiday and really on ALL holidays.

I spent the time thinking of my friends and family. That's the point. I wasn't thinking about me. I wasn't thinking about how I was alone. I was thinking about how much I appreciate my friends and their loyalty. I was thinking about how grateful I was for all the support I have received from my family. I don't need the love of a partner right now. That's not where this stage of my life has taken me. I made that decision and I am okay with it. I have the love of everyone else in my life to keep me going right now. And honestly, when I think about what I love about Holidays, it's spending time with family. That's what I miss the most when I am here so far away from everyone else.

I read Emily's post on Valentine's day with pictures of Noah and could read in her words and view in her pictures the kind of love that I want to have in my life someday.

And I will have that. For now, I am content with waiting for a time when I am ready to commit to that kind of life and love.

So, to all of you friends and family who read this, thank you for being the loves of my life.

You are my Martyrs...I mean Valentine's.

Okay, enough with the sappy. Back to eating lots of leftover holiday candy!

Wait, that IS what these holidays are all about in the end, right?

Right?