Wednesday, August 12, 2009

As it turns out, everyone was right.

So we weren't friends, eh? What were all those times that we sat together and laughed about random things? What about when we would talk together about things we wouldn't talk about to others? Isn't that confiding?

Don't get me wrong. I really never needed your friendship. But it is nice to know that you never considered us friends.

Enough already!

Get over yourself!

I fee like a complete idiot because of the things I said. I have already told you that.

I'm glad that you only ever considered us mutual acquaintances. That makes this a lot easier. I thought that MAYBE I should be a little careful about what I said to you because we had some sort of friendship between us.

So here is what I WANT to say.

I should never have trusted you from the start. My whole family said that I should NOT move in with you. I should have listened to them. They were right. You are over-dramatic, manipulative, and horrid. You delight in saying things that hurt others feelings. You are a constant one-upper. You always insist on having the last word. You cheat people out of their money. You are very good at making others think that they are in the wrong when in a bad situation created by you. I can hardly stand you.

I am not a dishonest person. I did not try to take your money in any malicious way. You are getting your way so just leave me alone!

Now that I have vented I will admit that I feel a measure of sympathy for you because of your hard situation. But that is all.

Thank goodness I did not put this in an e-mail and send it to you. I think I would have regretted it.



*******


Sorry to those of you who had to read this. It is not a pretty side of me. There are many more things that I would like to say to the person that these words are aimed at but I think I should stop there.

Some horrible part of me wishes that she came to thins blog and read all that was said previous. But really, all I want it to never hear from her again.

Okay. This has been my life for the last couple days. It is funny that the first e-mail in the horrible thread between us ended in a smiley face. Ha.

Oh, and guess what? I am no longer taking Russian History. I am taking Geography of Cemeteries. I am excited.

Also, my car stereo got stolen for those of you who don't know.

What else?

Um, there is an unexplained $600 surplus in my checking account. I am so bad about crosschecking my record keeping with the statements the bank sends that I have over a years worth of crosschecking to do. With incomplete records. I got some of it done, but I don't want to continue because it seems pointless since I am missing some crucial information. I will not continue until I have online banking which I am working on.

I feel so unproductive today. And yet, I am going to take a nap.

Blah. How do I get rid of this awful feeling of emptiness that I have today? Sleep will not rid me of it, and yet I have no desire to do anything productive.

Hello again everyone. Glad to have me back in the blog world? (Sarcastic scoff)

Oh, life. How you torture sometimes.

10 comments:

Beckie said...

Sarah, feel your former roommate pain like whoa. Seriously girl, do not feel guilty about venting in any way you need. You are a bigger person than this frenemy by not sending that email, so feel good about that. and any time you want to vent further/share horror stories, give me a holler.

gd said...

Okay, first of all: Geography of CEMETERIES?!! That sounds awesome! I know this is super weird, but I LOVE cemeteries. I swear I'm not dark and gothic or anything...I just think they're peaceful and pretty.

Second: What Beckie said. Wow. I know one of your roommates, and I would not be surprised if that's who you're talking about (--but I don't mean that to be a "Oh yeah, you should have known" statement. You never know how things are going to work out, and all you can do is try!) Whoever it is, though...good on you for taking the high road. I have NOT done the same in the past, and it's ruined friendships that didn't need to be ruined (although it sounds like your roomie doesn't care too much about that either). Good roommates are hard to find, and don't beat yourself up about rooming with this one...'live and learn' has been my motto lately. Instead of regretting bad choices, I just think "well, next time I just WON'T do that."

Good luck, and I hope you won't have to deal with this person for too much longer. Ick!!

~genny

Emily S. said...

Just.... {{{{HUGS}}}} BIG hugs.

I have written a few unsent emails myself recently, and felt a knot of YUCK over a relationship with a "friend", too... SO I am ALLLLL too familiar with the awful, un-dissapating feelings that fill your stomach and feel like they'll never dissolve. ALL too familiar.

I am angry on your behalf, too, because it sounds like this girl "won" her irrational arguments. Still... Better to wipe you hands of it and move on. Screw her.

Off to go "unfriend" her on FB.

LOL. :)

Peeser said...

First of all, Genny, it is not weird that you love cemeteries- I love 'em, too. In fact, I would venture to say that most of us Lambsons have a similar feeling (well, we *did* play in them as kids, treating old tombstones like playground equipment...) As an adult, I do find them fascinating and serene and peaceful. And Sarah, how cool is it that you are taking a class like that?!? I will admit, I'm not sure what a class like that would even involve- do they mean the general geography of cemeteries (i.e. how people decide where to put them)? Or is it the geography of specific cemeteries (i.e. where famous cemeteries are located)? Interesting...

Second of all, Sarah, you may feel petty for putting your feelings down in a blog, but don't. I think we all need to vent such feelings every now and then (I usually go to my journal), and by venting, we are able to let go and move on. You didn't vent to the person, so you are okay. Yeah, sure, maybe we can all work towards a point where all we need to do to vent is yell meaningless syllables to the sky, but until the, I think it is fine to write these kinds of feelings down in order to be able to process them better and figure out how to get over it.

and I think I will take Emily's suggestion and "unfriend" them on FB (mostly because I really don't ever interact with this person anyway, so I don't feel that there is anything lost, and I doubt she would feel like she lost much...)

sorry about the stereo. Have you gotten any kind of replacement, yet?

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