Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"I need a place that's hidden in the deep where lonely angels sing you to your sleep though all the world is broken."

Sarah needs to be packing. There is so much. My bed has already been re-located to it's current resting place: the basement. And so I sit on the floor. I wonder when I learned to sit cross-legged? I had to be pretty young because they make you do that all through elementary school.

In other words I am taking this opportunity to procrastinate.

Thank you for sharing it with me.

This is the last night that I will spend in Columbia for 10 months. How do I feel about that? You would think I would be excited. The truth is, these knots refuse to leave. There are stretched of time where I am s distracted that I hardly notice. Then I come home again and realize just how big a step this is in my humble existence. There are no parties. Nothing exciting. No big bang. I simply drift away from the home that has been my mainland for the past 22.5 years.

Somebody tell me that I am doing the right thing.

No, don't. Because the only one that can know if this is right is me. It may turn out that this is all wrong. But I will endure because I need to grow up. No more crutch. No more pretending that I'm not really an adult. Not yet. I still feel like a child but with none of the innocence and simplicity. I'm in the worst kind of limbo.

I have two more nights to spend in blissful familiarity. I suppose I should be glad that I'm not going oversees into some harsh country where I don't even speak the language.

Enough of this. I just needed to put some thoughts down. As I said before I went into Rhode Island, who knows how many opportunities I will have to blog out there (Of course I had plenty in Rhode Island but the office I spent time in had internet.).

Happy snowy Wednesday everybody.

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