A movie review

Warning. If you have any intention of seeing the new Transformers movie no matter what I say here, please do not read any further.

The following is a very negative review of the film and if you don't want to be tainted by my opinion before you see the film, feel free to skip over this entry.

If, however, you wish to spare yourself from 2.5 hours of some of the worst film making ever seen, please read on. This entry may be enlightening to you.

***

Okay, worst film making ever seen might be a little harsh. There ARE worse movies out there. But this one comes pretty close to the worst movie I spent money to see in theaters.

Here is a brief list of what was wrong with this film. There are spoiler so I will say again, if you plan on seeing it, don't read further.

1. First off was the voice over in the beginning. Not only was it unnecessary (they could have covered all the important info with some good scripting), it kind of made me want to laugh, it was so cheesy. It doesn't help that Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) has always sounded like a movie trailer announcer. Anyway, voice over. They began with it, they ended with it, and it was not effective.

2. Next we have unnecessary sexual references. We have humping dogs, leg humping little decepticons, way too many crotch references. All unnecessary, all caused the whole audience to laugh...all except me and Kirsti. I hate people who find that kind of stuff funny.

3. Along with this horrible sex humor we just have horrid humor in general. Nothing that was supposed to be funny in that movie was funny. The only times that me and Kirsti laughed, we were the only ones laughing. And we would laugh at all the random things like "I have wet wipes! I have wet wipes!" Which is frantically shouted by Sam (Shia) at a girl who Bumble Bee shoots yellow fluid all over. Under this category is the stupid random humor of the Mom. It happened far too frequently and was NOT FUNNY!

4. Unnecessary characters. Under this category we have the roommate that adds NOTHING to the plot but annoying side comments and "comic relief" though nothing that he says is funny. He provided nothing useful to move the plot forward. The same can be said about the girlfriend. The only reason Megan Fox is in the movie is to increase the sex appeal. She hot-wires a car once that helps in a getaway and she charms a little decepticon into joining the good side. Other than that she is useless baggage and annoying baggage at that. The whole time it just seems that she is more in the way and things would go smoother if she weren't there. Not only were there several unnecessary characters but there were many that just dropped out of the plot completly partway through the movie. They served their purpose and then they are gone. 24 season 6 anyone?

5. Unnecessary language. Especially in the Autobots. I know that it sort of makes sense that the Autobots wold start using language that humans use because they have lived on earth for two years now, but it is still stupid. And the rest of the foul language is ver unneeded and does NOTHING for the film or the plot. I can admit that sometimes, language is important in a character or for the period or culture being represented. It can also be effective in showing emotion. Not the case for this film.

6. Way too much destruction. needless destruction. Not effective. Also, the fights between the transformers made you want to gouge your eyes out. There was too much going on. Sometimes it was cool, but most of the time it was just overwheling and unplesant to watch.

7. The twins. I'm sure that they were effective comic relief in the cartoon, but in this movie you just wanted them to die. They are represented as "gangsta" like Autobots. And it is almost like having someone tapping sharply on your head incessantly. SO anoying.

8. One of the worst scripts ever. 80% of the lines were so cliche it was painful. And the rest was just dumb. There were only a few good lines and most of them were delievered by Shia.

9. Ineffective use of emotion and emotional timing. There were many instances where I normally would have been crying. But no tears came because the timing was all off. Emotional scenes were to involved and rushed.

I was telling Kirsti right before the movie started that sometimes I really like going to midnight showings because of the excitement and the group mentality. You all cheer and laugh and groan together. Not the case with this movie. I wanted to shout "really?" every time the whole crowd laughed at things like the word "scrotum".

Anyway, I basically paid $7 to see a REALLY good Harry Potter trailer on the big screen.

Other trailers that I saw that looked good

-M. Nights newest film, The Last Airbender
-Nine
-Peter Jacksons District 9

Okay, I am done ranting.

I HATE wasting money.

Again, you don't have to take my word for it (tee-hee, LeVar Burton). Go see it if you still want to. But don't say I didn't warn you.

"...dude, thanks for spritzin' my watch!"

Just a small moment of your time to give an update.

No dice with the fish. Again.

They were given three days! I guess three days isn't enough time for them to get to know one another. No one night stands for these fatheads.

Oh well. Somehow this will all work out. He will give me a chance to get my grade up from a D. I'm not sure how, but I'm not too worried about it.

Things with Sadie are going swell. She is a very fast learner which is good for me. She already knows that she has to stay in the foot well of the passenger side during car rides. She hasn't had an accident in the house in a while. She is still needy, but getting better. She likes going outside for short spurts of time. She loves the family. She isn't a very consistent eater which worries me. I also hardly ever see her drink water. I still need to taker her to the vet. But she is daring and can charm the socks off anyone.

Work is moving right along. I am trying my best to pick up as many shifts as possible. So is everyone else so its tough. I snapped at my manager the other night. The banana bread was so soft that we were getting complaints. So he popped it in the oven for 5 minutes. It came out a little crusty on the outside. He got annoyed when I told him that I wouldn't serve the crusty bread to any of my tables. I follow the philosophy that if I wouldn't eat it I won't serve it. I got annoyed that he got annoyed at me. I try my best to get along with all my co-workers. No matter how much they annoy me. Every once in a while the angry person in me jumps out.

Did I mention that I am now a certified trainer at work? All that really means is this:

-I get a gold name tag with my full name stamped on it. Not stuck on there with a label maker

-I should get a TAD more respect

-I get to train new servers

-I think there is also something in there that says I can suggest that people get written up for something bad that they are doing. Maybe, maybe not.

I know that I have said this many times before, but I love Psych. It is fresh, funny, and clever. It is also surprisingly clean. I know that the whole family would love it if they would just give it a chance.

That's all I have to say about that.

I am tired now, so I am going to "surrender unto sleep". 5 monopoly dollars if you choir people can name what song that is from. It's not hard.

Goodnight room, goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.

You've got a nice fat head, Fathead...

I guess having a nice fat head still doesn't attract the females. Neither does having sexy stripes.

Yes, I am back at it as most of you know. This is my week to try and get some eggs out of these fathead minnows. So far, no good.

I put a second male in the breeding tank at 2:00 yesterday. He is all dark and stripedy, and good looking. I wanted to give him some time to get used to the tank and the presence of the other male.

At 10:00pm last night, I came back and put the three plumpest females into the tank and left. The theory is that if I just leave them alone, they will get over their shyness and spawn.

This was the theory. It has proven to be false so far. 17 hours into it and there are still no eggs.

This is my second check up on the fish. I came over at 9:00am thinking that 11 hours might be enough time. No. At 3:00 (20 minutes ago) I came back. Apparently another 5 hours is not enough time either.

On the upside, I got a bank deposit made and watched The Empire Strikes Back with Kirsti. On the down side, I am running out of time again. I think that if this goes much past Wednesday I am going to have call it quits. I can't miss another week of work this month.

Which has me wondering...

I am going to be gone a week to go to Utah when Kirsti goes for school. I am also now (thanks to wonderful sisters) trying to plan in Disney World in July. Not to mention the two days that I am missing for Johnson Shut-ins.

It may not seem like much, but that is already a lot of work to miss.

Plus I have this little dog now who is much more needy that I previously thought.

We think that she was neglected during her two years with the previous owners and maybe even moderately abused. This means that she needs extra care which means less picking up shifts.

This also means that I need money for grooming, spaying, shots, more food, etc.

Also, two of my three roommates are pretty much no longer living at home. Is it fair to have them pay electricity and water? One of them spends SOME time at home. So should we charge her partial? They will both pay rent. No doubt about that. And we have another girl moving in this week so that takes care of some of it.

But will I have enough money to cover all my expenses and can I afford to take off another whole week? (Of course if these fish don't spawn by Wednesday, I am going to finish off the rest of the week and work on Thursday, Friday, Saturday).

I don't know. It's something to think about.

Maybe if it doesn't work this time I will have to tell my professor that I can't try again until the fall. (I would much rather get this over with).

Sigh.

I'm here is the fish lab cooling off because there is hardly any breeze today and walking to the Natural Resources building got me all sweaty.

I will leave soon and come back again at around 8:00 or 9:00. If there is still nothing I will sleep and wait until tomorrow morning.

That is all I have to update.

Time to go home and do something...what? I don't know.