Oh the first day of classes. The smell of newly printed Syllabuses...syllabusae? The awkwardness of not knowing people in your class...believe it or not this was not an issue for my first class. I knew at least two people. The warmth of the Memorial Union computer lab and the hunger of not having a proper lunch. Hmm...I'm going to have to make better lunch plans.
And then there is the feeling you get after the first class. The thought of "what the heck did I just get myself into?" I have a feeling that most of my classes will be that way. *Sigh*.
In my dream last night, the song "Hey Jude" kept popping up. At first there were a bunch of weird drawn animals singing it on a mountain. Then it was stuck in my head for the rest of the dream. I woke up with the desire to sing it.
Every time I go into a biology oriented class, I feel like I am going to fail at life because I am not planning on grad school at this point...or a Phd. Does that make me a loser? I have some new ideas for careers that involves getting a minor in something. But I feel like it's a bit late for that. Blah!!
I wish I could say that I LOVE college. I don't hate it. But it's forcing me to grow up and that scares me. What also scares me is that I don't have a set plan for where I want to be 5 years from now. Several other people in the class have the same problem. But I hear about all these people who are going to travel and do research and have set careers in 5 years. I have no idea!
AHHHHHHH!!!!
Truthfully I would like to be married. I want to have a simple job...working at a zoo or for a state park. Something like that. But who knows if that how I feel in a year or so.
Why cant life be easy?
Am I lame because I am clicking the scroll button to the rhythm(that is such a weird spelled word) of the song I am listening to?
The place where I go to find myself again when I am lost. My Zen garden if you will.
2 comments:
nah... you were weird before that whole clicking/scrolling thing.
Trying again:
You are not a loser for not having a 5-year career plan. #1 - you get a chance to take some random/fun classes that those who are more "focused" miss out on (like I did) #2 - odds are the plan would change anyway (again, like me) and #3 you just plain aren't a loser
So even though you don't LOVE college, try not to HATE it, and don't add unneeded stress to yourself. Meanwhile, remember I love you and will talk to you soon :-)
(P.S. shoot me an email to remind me to email you my schedule - I keep forgetting)
Take care-
your big (am *I* a loser because I didn't follow my 5-year plan...)sis
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