"The lights go out and I can't be saved. Tides that I tried to swim against have brought me down upon my knees. Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing..."

As many of you know by now, most of southern New Hampshire has no power. That includes Bear Brook State Park.

Actually if I am going to be completely honest, much of the people who were without power have it again. It looks like Bear Brook (heretofore given the label BB) will still be without until Friday at the earliest.

Hello, my name is Sarah Lambson and it has been 7 days since my last shower.

I am trying my best to stay okay smelling. I don't think I am TOO repulsive yet. I haven't been running around and getting sweaty or anything. But my hair is pretty rank, I must admit. Only a beanie cap (which is also starting to smell a little) protects the world from my hair of eternal stench (name that movie Lambsonites...or any other ites out there who know)

Also, there is the dark factor. It's really not a big deal except that I broke my headlamp (actually I am convinced that it broke itself).

In other news, our crew just got two people smaller. One girl has left for good and the other is thinking about it. The former is a loss, but I didn't get along with her all that well anyway. The latter is a girl who I will greatly miss. She was the closest I got to a spiritual peer. I am praying hard that she decides to come back (she is home for a week).

I need to get on with the new batch of pictures. The following are just pictures of a beautiful lookout that I pass all the time and only just took time to take pictures of. I hope you know that this was done at great personal cost since there is no place to park on the busy road right next to this place. This was just after the snow that we got on Saturday.

So, here we have the complete inventory of the care package that I got from Beckie over the weekend(I'm sure most of you don't care but out here it's awesome to get stuff and I just have to show it off)

note:lables for each picture are BELOW the picture. Just to save you from the confusion monster.

See everything in all it's majesty? Other people get packages, but I must say that (like in RI) I am the envy of all the other interns...most of the time. Thanks awesome family!
The overhead shot with it all laid out.
Cookie crisp (my fav cereal) and Choco special K (the best kind in my opinion). Plus a fun card!
My conference DVD that mom and Dad got for some Christmas's ago(I had requested it) The original Batman (is that my copy? I can't remember if I bought it or not...) Skip-Bo(YAY!) and sunglasses(not much use with all this gray weather.
Luggage tags, Burts Bees (who DOESN'T love a gift of good ol' Burts), Two (count it, TWO) kinds of gum (I LOVE gum), stationary, a little notebook and two bags of goodies.

A hat with a pom pom the size of a small planet (started by me, finished by Mother. Thanks Mom!), sunflower seeds (That bag will be gone in a day), A GIANT Toblerone bar (the envy of all), and SOCKS! I agree with Dumbledore, one can never have enough socks.

Lets get a closer look at this card.

Love those boys!

(:

So there you have it. A faithful account of the items in the package Beckie sent me. It occurs to me that I didn't do a blog like this for the package Juli sent. Sorry Juli! I think I was just so excited to get it that I forgot. I am still reveling in it's contents.

A quick little addendum before I close. I hate electric companies right now. Two are currently fighting over who is going to take care of a downed power line that is in the middle of nowhere. This means that it will be at LEAST a couple more days before we get power. I have now gone for a whole WEEK without a shower. At least we get to go to Salvation Army today and shower before we teach tomorrow.

Ug.

"We never change, do we? No, no. We never learn do we?"

There are things rattling around in my brain lately.

Loose change, maybe some tight change, lint, dust, thoughts of creamy delicious chocolate...you know, the usual.

But those things only really take up approximately 12.3%

about 62.5% is taken up by feelings of loneliness and detachment.

The rest of it (that would be...25.2%?) is toying with the idea of joining the Peace Corps after I do this.

No, that's a lie. I'm not toying with the idea because that suggests a certain amount of levity in the consideration. I am not taking this lightly. This is a serious decision. It would be a once in a lifetime experience, I would be doing my part to make the world better. There are so many benefits.

But then there is the fact that it is 26 months and that is intimidating. I would be so far away. But a different country! I don't know. I am just thinking carefully. And praying. I know I still have 8 months here in NH. I'm just thinking ahead.

Anyway, on to more interesting things. From my weekend with Megan in Rhode Island

Megan kissing her family llama The Terrorist.
Megan painted these stairs. They are amazing! I told her that she needs to paint MY basement stairs when I finally get a house.

This is the loft in Megans amazing house! This is where I slept. The whole house is hardwood floors and it's got a wonderful homey feel to it.

This is the beach at Rome Point where we went with Megan's friend Megan. It was a beautiful day!
Megan has a great laughing face!
Megan's chickens...they made funny clucking noises!
The goat. I can't remember her name. She is apparently really old.

The Terrorist and Willoughby her other family llama. They love pine needles!

The trail we took to Rome point.
A small inlet near Rome Point. Megan says its a great place to go swimming in the summer.
Megan's rock tower.
The Jamestown bridge in the distance.

A short summary of the trip. We drove there Friday night. Slept in Saturday morning. Went to Megan's friend Megan's house and met her two dogs. They were so cute and I wish that I had taken pictures of them besides the ones on my phone. We went to Rome point. I was going to go to The Mews with Megan and her other friend but remembered that they card you at the entrance and I still didn't have a drivers licence. I insisted that Megan still go. I spent the evening having some Sarah time in my loft guest room. It was nice. Sunday we went to Providence. I forgot my camera so there are no pictures. I plan on going there again so no worries. It was nice. I got to see Kasia (the only person I kept up with in RI from my past internship). Then we drove home. It was a nice weekend.

I am going to close now with a small bit of good news. I found my wallet! Well, actually it was found by the NH Peace Action at their barn. The first people I called when I first noticed it missing. It was between a couple of folding chairs in their folding chair rack. They called me and it is now in the mail. I hope to get it back soon. This was, of course, after I got a new Chase card for $15. Poo.

Sorry the last part of this post kind of blah. I run out of steam by the end.

Sorry that the quality of the pictures are not as good as Em's. I just don't have the patience for editing or the high quality camera.

Okay, before I get any more boring I am leaving...

...to catch up on Lost.

"But I pulled you and I called you here. And I caught you and I've brought you here, didn't I? These hazards of love never more will trouble us."

So I know that this is the second post in two days but this is at the request of Mom. A VALENTINES DAY POST!

This it the first valentines day that I spent not feeling resentful of being single. Mostly because I had a lot of other single people to spend it with. But first a couple other things.
Here is my cabin. The one that I live in that has very limited electricity. Look at all the lack of snow!
Remember that trail picture from the last post? All that snow there? Yeah. Here is the same trail. Snow-less. The only reason there is still white stuff on the ground is because it is the woods and some of the drifts were pretty big.
Here is the first picture of what my secret valentine got me. A whoopie cushion...(She calls me Lambson and I call her Ryan because we are both people who share a name with someone else here. See the sun on the chest of the lamb? Yeah, she made that and glued it on.
Here is another shot showing the front of the card. So cute!! Love it.

And now for the food. This pizza was not made by me. But it was too amazing not to capture. There was some amazing food being made last night, I tell you what.
So. Picture 1 of the amazing meal WE made. Me, Abby, Kelsey.
Aren't they loveley?
Sweet potato fried mixed with russet fries. Yum. Nutmeg, salt, pepper, garlic, the best.
Nachos. Again, not made by us. This was made by the same people who made the pizza. FANTASTIC!
Okay, so get this. The burgers were made of grass fed Angus beef from the farm of Abby's grandparents. The buns were made of focaccia bread. Ripe tomato, lettuce, organic ketchup, munster cheese. If that weren't enough, we mixed onion, garlic, and worchester sauce into the meat. I have to say that it was the best burger that I have ever had in my life. That include anything you might get at a restaurant.

After the amazing dinner, we watched Labyrinth. Me and Kelsey sand along. Abby wasn't impressed. But she had never seen it as a kid, thus proving my theory that most adults will not like that movie if they haven't experienced it as a kid first.

It was a pretty good night. But of course, nothing can stop the feeling that you should be with someone. It wasn't too bad last night, but it was present.

Someday.

So there you have it.

I hope you enjoyed.

Happy Valentines day.

ps-here are the letters and the song that wrote to my secret valentine. I hope you find them as cheesy as I meant them to be.

My dearest Abby,

I cannot contain it any longer. It is I, your secret Valentine and in these, the days preceding that day of sweetest love aka Valentine’s day, I finally find the strength to finally tell you just how much I love and adore you . Reminiscent of that Roman saint who died on February 14^th so many years ago, so my heart dies a little every day it is not given your return affections. But let us not rush things, my crème crumpet of delicious beauty. Love is an art and I am the master artist. Everyone knows that tension must be drawn out so that the release is all the sweeter. So it will be that this day and all the days following it which precede February 14^th 2010 I will write you a letter. A letter which puts into words feelings which no earthly words can express. And each day, oh bountiful bearer of all my affection, I will see your love for me grow until that fateful time when I will reveal to you my identity.

Stars will align, music will ring out, and all the cosmos will submit to that one power which is greater than all others. This power doesn’t take money, it doesn’t take fame. It doesn’t take a credit card to ride this train. It is strong and it is sudden and it can be cruel sometimes, but it might just change your life. It’s the power of love.

Until tomorrow my beauty, I must leave you to anticipate my next profession of devotion.

-Your secret Valentine

Oh Abby, my Abby! I’m glad you’re not at an Abbey

‘Cause if you were, you would not be my Abby

Oh Abby, my Abby I hope you don’t think it’s drabby

That I wrote you this song. A song that’s all about Abby

Oh she loves her earth and hates Dave Matthews

I sometimes wonder if she likes cashews

‘Cause I do and I like macadamias too

I go nuts for my Abby, oh Abby my Abby oh loo!

Abby, my sweet. It is I again. Your secret valentine. I know that you have waited with bated breath to receive this, my second profession of love. Breathe easy now, oh inspiration of all my doings for it is here.

I do not profess to be a being of many words. I must admit that I find myself distracted by thoughts of you. And so I make this address brief.

Expect a token of how much I worship you in the form of a little ditty.

If this letter is unexpected and strange to you, be sure to check your mailbox for the letter I wrote to you previously.

Until tomorrow dearest,

-Your secret valentine

"I shake through the wreckage for signs of life Scrolling through the paragraphs Clicking through the photographs."

Megan give me a strange look as Kate, Lil, and Kelsey watch SNL on my computer at the South Street Laundromat. This fantastic little piece of awesome is the cheapest laundromat I have found and has wireless internet! Love it.
Nate and Jo posed for this picture that we put into our slide show for the eighth graders. They are showing just how much they love composting.
Another little gem that we used for the slide show to demonstrate how we live as a community and cook community meals. Jo looks a little too excited and Nate is really enjoying the spoonful of nothing he's dipping from the pot.
Jo going full force into cooking, whisk held high.
This is a picturesque view of the lodge in all it's snowy glory. This is the place that we eat, work, shower, cook, and pretty much spend out lives when we aren't teaching or sleeping.
This lovely specimen here is Kate Hood. No doubt she is trying to poison herself with bleach water so that she can get out of cleaning the bathrooms. They were pretty gross that day and she is a little bit of a germaphobe.
Z and Shannon look a little too happy for having to sweep up hair and scrub toilets which let urine sit in them for hours at a time. "If it's yellow, let it mellow. It it's brown, flush it down. Or save some water, use the squatter." For those of you unaware, the squatter is the outhouse.
Looks like Kate's mood has improved. Maybe she has successfully poisoned herself.
This is a marsh a little ways away from the camp. I bet it is even more beautiful in the spring when it is teaming with life. Just after the only big snow storm that we have gotten since I got here. This is part of the trail to the Lodge.
One of the cabins in the snow. Beautiful.
The branches crowded in along the trail. I have to say that it was one of the most lovely morning walks I have ever experienced. I really wish that it would snow again.
Yet another snow view. I know there are a lot of these. It was just so amazing. I don't get to see this much snow all that often.
And yet another snow picture. This was when the clouds rolled away. Once the sun made it appearance, all the snow started to fall from the branches. It was almost treacherous.

So this wasn't all that exciting. But it's what I got. Believe me, these pictures were the interesting ones of the bunch. And I didn't want to overload you all.

I am beginning to find my comfort zone out here. It's only just beginning to feel like a home. Things are becoming familiar.

Along with the sweet comes the sour. I still haven't found my wallet. So I have no money and every time I drive I am afraid that I am going to do something stupid and get pulled over. I am in the process of replacing everything but those of you who have been in my situation know how hard that can be. Especially since I am out of state.

Teaching is coming along. Lesson two went really well, at least for my part. Nate and Jo had a couple rough spots. They both HATE the class we have full of really gifted/band/ADHD students. They are really smart. They just need to be challenged. Some of them are really into learning what we are talking about. Some of them just want attention. I am enjoying the challenge. I am pretty sure that they are going to be my favorite class.

The first teen night was awkward. It was a mix of being a freshman in high school and being the lame adult. It got better as the night went on.

So yeah. That's about it for this little update.

"I traveled half the world to say you are my muse."

I was going to ask who wanted to hear about my first two official days of teaching. Then I decided that I didn't care if you wanted to hear about it or not because you can't hear typing.

So whether or not you want to hear anything is irrelevant. Whether or not you wish to read about it is a whole other matter.

But that doesn't matter either because a post will be the result of these end of day musings and you can decide whether or not you wish to read them.

Onward then upon my trusty steed which is running on brain energy fumes left over from those early weekends of relaxation.

Thursday was one of the longest days of my life. I've had 13 hour days before when I was working at Bob of the Evans. But days like that were merely physically taxing. I have not had a day that taxed me as mentally AND physically as Thursday did since never. It all began at 4:45am.

• 4:45am-Woke up to first alarm. Reset it. Rolled over and went back to sleep with music in my ears.
• 5:00am-Woke up to re-set alarm. Set it a second time. Rolled over and went back to sleep with music in my ears.
• 5:20am-Woke to third and final alarm. Spent 15 minutes stumbling around, getting things together, debating a belt, etc.
• 5:35am-arrive at the Lodge for sprucing up.
• 6:10-Emerged from the bathroom cocoon a beautiful, clean, teacher-esque butterfly. Boots laced and all (By the way Beckie, these boots are the best things ever. In love.).
• 6:25-having hastily prepared a tuna and fresh mushroom sandwich, granola bar, fruit leather, and water for lunch and scarfed down a small bowl of raisin bran, I was now ready to submit myself to the bowels of one of the grey beasts we drive to town.
• 7:20-I am now thoroughly van-sick, but awake and feeling anxious as we exit the belly of the elephantine behemoth (yes I am aware of the redundancy of this-it was used to put emphasis on how I feel about these 12 passenger vans we have to use) and make our heroic entrance into Hillside Middle School.
• 7:45-Computer hooked to the projector, copies of outlines in hand, we prepare for the wave of our first students to crash over us.
• 1:00pm-After 5 classes in which we had one 40 minute lunch break, we felt like we had accomplished a lot. (You were expecting some sort of play by play of each class and the whole day? Not worth the time it would take to type. If you are that interested you can take steps to participate in the aforementioned "hearing" of the events by calling me on my still shiny and new cell phone. Though depending on where I am when you call I may or may not receive it. You would do better to call me and leave a message for me to call you back and give a brief list of the times you are most available).
• 1:00-2:00pm-data pertaining to events at this time has been lost within the apparatus containing it. It is possible that said apparatus shut down in this one hour period. Please excuse the malfunction.
• 2:00pm-(Apparatus working normally, you may now continue reading)-We received and invitation to attend an eco-club meeting that one of our students is the president of. After a lengthy and suspenseful time in which we waited to RSVP (three seconds) we agreed and attended said meeting at this time. Many good things were talked about.
• 3:00pm-We arrived at the Salvation Army (not the thrift store) and entered unsure of what to expect from our first time.
• 5:00pm-having spent the last two hours reading Enders Game and looking up the word "hipster" in wikipedia, I help prepare for Kids Cafe (3-5 is tutoring time and there were more tutors than kids. I had no-one to tutor.)
• 5:45pm-dinner (mung like macaroni with ground beef and tomatoes, a buttermilk biscuit, a carton of milk, and a choco-chip cookie) is over and we cleaned up. Then it was time for activity time. I got my trash kicked at air-hockey, pool, and foosball. No I will not tell you how old the kids were that beat me. Stop asking.
• 7:15pm-the day being done and our bodies and brains mush, the three of us climb back into the lumbering rhino vans and turbulated* our way back to bear brook.
• 8:00pm-we arrived back and Bear Brook. I pottied. Then I went to the cabin, ready to fall asleep before my head hit the pillow, as they say. To my dismay, it was freezing because no one had managed to start a fire. I spent the next 45 minutes making the fire perfect so that the cabin would be warm and toasty for everyone else. THEN I fell into a blissful sleep.

*Turbulated-verb: to move in a turbulant manner.

Thus ended the first day.

Day two (today) started just as early but did not end as late. We put in a good 8 hours when you include commute time. We taught six classes, had 20 minutes for lunch and another earlier 40 minute break. By the last class we were laughing at unfunny things and stumbling over our words. Much like drunk people.

I revealed to my teammates my slightly vague reasons for not drinking coffee. They will now leave me alone. It does bug me that their performance is dependent on whether or not they have had their coffee quota or have nicotine in their system (in the case of Jonathan (now Jo to me) it's self-rolled cigarettes. In the case of Nate (Now Na to me...not really. I'm just kidding on that one) it's chewing).

I am tired.

And did I mention that I misplaced my wallet? I have looked in all the places that I can at Bear Brook (The Lodge, My Car, The Cabin, My Cubby, The Lost and Found). There are only four place it could be.

1.The barn where we went to the barn dance last weekend. In that case, I have e-mailed the people who might know where it is.

2. Church

3.The Concord Public Library

4. On the street somewhere in Concord or in some random persons hands.

I am really hoping for the first one. The second and third would be acceptable. The 4th is something I don't want to think about until the first three hypotheses have been proven false.

I really hope to receive a reply soon. I'm not sure I want to go to Portsmouth without an ID or anything else. I wouldn't be driving so I suppose that it would be good that I wouldn't have any money. No spending. On the other hand, I am sure that others would want to go places to spend things (mostly food, maybe a museum or something) and I would not be able to participate. On the other other hand, I might not have time to go there on my own. How fun would it be to go with people to Portsmouth and see the winter ocean? My mind isn't made up, but I am going to go to bed early so that I still have that option.

And her I end with this perplexing thought: If you write a blog post and no one ever reads it, do you actually exist in the blogging world? (We all know that the point of blogging is really validation).

"He's so mercifully free of the pressures of grace

This update will be short and to the point.

-There is way too much drama. Apparently, people cannot act like mature adults for more than 4 weeks.

-Having met with the teachers I am working with, I am now more nervous that I was before. Teaching these 8th graders is going to be hard.

-One of the teachers is a crazy Nazi. I don't like her. But I like one of the other teachers. His name is Rand. Yeah. Rand.

-It was really warm earlier this week and now it is frigid. No more show so far but when it comes it usually comes hard.

-I went to a barn dance. Best thing ever? Yeah. I think so.

-My shows are failing me in their content. The winners? The Office and Psych. Apparently comedies are the only shows holding it anymore. Nuts to dramas. That doesn't mean I'll stop watching them.

-Thanks Mom and Dad for the cookies and various other things you have sent me.

-A shout out to Kirsti and our evening text sessions.

-Also a shout out to Emily for the nice little message you left me on Saturday. It was a good pick me up.

-For a few of you, I don't have your number anymore because it was saved to my old phone and that phone died. So, you want me to have your number? send me a text with your name in the it. (Lame, I know).

-I am officially going to make my ward the Canterbury ward, even if it's all old people there.

-My first real day of teaching is Thursday. I am nervous. Pray for me.

-Did I mention that one of my teaching teammates chews that the other rolls his own cigarettes?

-There are a lot of people here that tell me how awesome they think it is that I am out here doing this since I am Mormon. I wonder how many of them are thinking fundamentalist or Mennonite.

-I was offered Mead. Peer pressure like. Ew...and lame.

-Never see Silent Hill...dumb movie.

-I don't like Curry. No matter how you make it. I don't like it. Too bad. We seem to have it all the time.

-I got a gift of a Cadbury egg. It was perfect.

-I might be an interpretive ranger instead of a conservation person. The verdict is still out on that.

-My cabin mate wants to hook me up with her brother or her best friend. Um...

-I've been trying to get people to call me Lambson instead of Sarah since there are two of us. Only a few people have caught on.

-Okay I think that's it really. I'm gonna stop now and also try to post at least once a week.

Done!

"Everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up."

I suppose the time is ripe for an update on my life.

As everyone know, I am now in New Hampshire. In the southeast part of the state. Almost halfway between Concord and Manchester.

I am living in a state park. Bear Brook state park to be exact. Yes, LIVING in a state park. Not just working.

There is lots of snow. I have not been properly warm since I got here. Everything smells like campfire. I am struggling to balance sympathy and annoyance with one of my coworkers.

The food is good though pointedly vegetarian. Meat is a rarity and I find that's okay with me. I don't need meat. But I am not, I repeat NOT giving it up. Give me the chance to eat a meaty burger and I will take it.

The people are nice. I have broken out of my shy state and made it to the "Sarah is really sarcastic" stage. Really surprised everyone there. According to one of my bunkmates it has been the talk of the crew, my switch over from wallflower to Audry II.

I surprise myself sometimes. But I'm glad to be breaking out of my shell.

Let's see. What else.

I am getting far too used to being fed 3 times a day. Sue, the facilities manager cooks dinner every night and often prepares something easy for lunch. Breakfast is provided by the volunteer stewards of the day and has ranged from breakfast casserole to French Toast to choco-chip pancakes. The only downside to the last two is that we have no maple syrup. So I've had to improvise. Sue is an amazing cook and almost everything she has made I have devoured. All except the curry soup that had cilantro. Ew. The weekends are hard because there is no one cooking. You are on your own. It's especially hard on Sundays since I am sp used to it being a night of sumptuous dinners. Despite the good food I am determined to eat healthy. Most of the time this isn't a problem...but the other night Sue made some sort of casserole that was cornbread, black beans, mashed potatoes, cheese, onions, peppers...yum! And last night she made jambalaya.

Anyway...Soon it will be up the the three person teaching teams to cook dinner at night.

Speaking of teaching teams, they were finally assigned. These teams of three are the teams we will work in with our classes. We will plan all the lessons together, present them together and do after school activities together. Me and my team are called The Young, The Old, and The Educated. AKA: YOE! (the exclamation point is key). Jonathan is the Old (being the oldest member in the whole crew at 25), Nate is the young (being the next to youngest at 19) and I am the educated because I am the only person in my team who has a degree. I am in the only team that has two boys and one girl. The rest are two girls and one boy. I feel pretty confident in my team even if one of them smokes and the other chews. And I need to because we are the team teaching 8th graders.

I cannot tell you how excited I was when I found this out. This means that the leaders think that the three of us have what it takes to deal with older kids. I was really hoping for 8th graders mostly because I have taught younger kids before and I wanted a challenge. Also, I think I have a lot to offer to kids who need a little deeper instruction on ecology and natural resources. Then yesterday I remembered how troublesome kids that age are and I got a little scared. I think it will be great, but it will be hard. Thank goodness I have a little experience and got over my public speaking fears.

I really like my roommates...there are already a few minor disagreements but overall it is good between all of us. We do have the messiest cabin according to Kate. That will soon be fixed I hope.

I am slowly starting to learn my way generally around. I can get to downtown Concord no problem. I know where a couple libraries are and a couple laundromats. I am already planning some great adventures if I have time. I will have to visit the beach at sometime. I also want to visit an Island Marlee (the education leader) said had sightings of snowy owls. How amazing would it be to see snowy owls?

Also me and a girl named Abby are planning on learning Piano Man by the end of the 10 months. She is going to learn the Harmonica and I will learn the piano part. It's going to happen. And it will be amazing.

I was feeling pretty down the other day. Financial problems had me singing the blues. Not literally though. I'm not comfortable enough to do that in front of people yet. Besides, I am a firm believer that white people cannot sing the blues. Not really. I had to keep telling myself that things would be fine and that the worst that could happen was nowhere near horrible. I am much better now that it's Friday.

Man, I know it's only been about two weeks but I feel like I've been here a month already. It's crazy. The days go by at a normal pace, the week goes by fast, but this month is going slower that I thought it would. Everything at a different pace. It's a little weird.

I really can't think of anything else. I know this entry has been long enough as it is. I think most of them will be this long until new things stop happening (which may be never).

Thanks to all of you who read this and make it worth posting anything ever. I hope everyone is doing well. As soon as I get a new phone I look forward to calling everyone and having a good chat.

Until then...did you know that there are tiny hexopods (not an insect) called snow fleas? The appear on warmer winter days and are easy to see against the snow. I was fascinated by them as we were walking in the woods today.

Also...I think being a mammologist would be great. So now it's between mammology, entomology or behavioral ecology/biology. Too many choices. Or I could just work for an animal rescue organization.

Done!