Two in one week!

So I know that I have tried to stay away from the 24 entries...but this wont take long.

we welcome guest star Denethor as the Russian Consul. He looks like taking a running, flaming jump from the top of Minas Tirith wasn't good for his health. Poor guy just lost a pinky.

We also gladly welcome Marial Varon Underlay from the "not good enough to last two seasons because people get bored to easily" show Invasion. She has gone from creepy alien hybrid to being the vice presidents advisor. A step up in my opinion. Man I miss that show.

In my opinion the writers of 24 are doing a poor job at being plausible. There is no way that Chad Lowe would be willing to kill the president and have second thoughts about murdering his boss...yeah right.

And I feel like there is no way that when Jack breaks into a Russian Diplomatic building under his own jurisdiction and gets nabbed, CTU will risk having the Russians pissed at America and launch a rescue mission for an agent that was supposed to be dead anyway. Not that I don't want them to save Jack. But c'mon. Lets be realistic.


Okay, I'm done. Moving onto life.

I saw "Because I Said So" with my girls Erin and Jenni on Monday. It was a wonderful night. It was nice to giggle and be extremely attracted to the hot guitar player Johnny. Who I just figured out where I have seen him before. From one of the shows that I loved and completely dropped off the face of the earth, "The Others". It's a cute movie but there are way to many sexual references for my taste.

And almost right after I got home from my evening with my friends I was sad that that was it. I probably wont see them again until summer. Oh well. Thats life.

I'm kind of dreading the field trip I agreed to go on the the Satan State.

I hope it's worth a weekend of missing work and the money that I need.

I work with Scott tonight. And that makes me sort of happy. Harmless flirting that wont go anywhere because that would be awkward.

Signing off. What was the point of this entry again?

And then you get over it...

Not completely really, but I feel a lot better than I did this time last week. Thank you time.

Things like cold Pizza Hutt (couldn't help it. My Star Wars alter ego broke loose), sleeping in and Death Cab for Cutie make the day better.

Speaking of which...

"And all you see is where else you could be when you're at home. And out on the streets are so many possibilities to not be alone."
-Death Cab for Cutie-"Your Heart is an Empty Room"

I've been hit by another wave of restlessness. I blame it on the nice weather and thinking too much about what my life could be and is not at this point.

Every once in a while I look at where I am and wonder where I'm going? What's the plan here? Will I spend the rest of my college life living at home? What am I doing to try to move out and get a car? Not much.

Why do I still cling to the life I had in high school, wishing that I had it all back?

I miss the simplicity.

I was watching an episode of "Boy Meets World" the other day (man I miss that show). It was the college years (sad, I know). But they said something that made me think.

"We're not kids anymore."-Sean
"When did that happen?"-Topanga

I think that the road just stretches out before me, dark and intimidating in places. There are lot's of potholes, but I can't see exactly where they are and that scares me.

Two weeks ago I hit a sunny patch, but it disappeared behind a cloud last week. Now I'm in a kind of partly cloudy haze, where the light breaks through in places in brief spurts.

But it's all good. I think that I'll get over this in a few days and be back to not caring that I spend my free time on the computer writing blogs like this.

Everybody Hurts

Where is the antidote for this? The warm soup, the midnight drive?

In the rift created the edges of understanding, of black and white, melt together creating grey rivers of doubt.

What do you do when you have hurt someone you dearly love? How do you fix it when you know he will never accept how you feel and you can never accept his choice?

You come to an understanding and hide behind fake smiles and assurances. But deep down you know that things will never be quite the same between you. And thats what cuts the deepest.

You promised to always be there and in his greatest time of need, you tell him that he's on his own.

There's nothing more to say. "I'm sorry" doesn't take away the fact you will never think it's right.

You get the same words of advice from everybody. It doesn't help. Nothing will fix this all the way. You can glue the pieces together but you will always be able to see the cracks.

who knows where we go from here...except to Father.

BIRDS!!

Hairy Woodpecker

Green-winged Teal

Pied-billed Grebe

Blue Heron

I wish I had taken these pictured. But I don't have the typed of camera for that. But I did see all four of these birds. Some others too, but these were the most interesting. We went to Eagle Bluffs on our first 7:00am field trip in Ornithology. It was really early, fairly cold, and actually kind of fun. It felt great to finally be in the field since this is probably what I will be doing a lot of in my career choice. Though I hope to be viewing more mammals. Most of the time the birds looked like tiny brown blobs, larger brown blobs, swimming brown blobs and even some perching brown blobs of prey...although we did see a large white splotch that was a hawk of some sort. Great fun.

Though I do blame my Ornithology class for all my frustrations today...Curse you!!!

Grebes are so cute...

Mmmmm...bird skins(it's gotta be Tuesday)

Nothing beats looking at bird skins that smell like a combo of mothballs and death.

Another beautiful day...and I all of a sudden really miss all my friends who are no longer in Columbia.

My brain hurts and I hate Ornithology. I feel stupid that I didn't predict how comprehensive this test was going to be. I really need to get on learning how to read peoples minds.

Sleep would be wonderful, so would not having to do things that are so hard.

ahhhhh...what is this limbo?

I hate really liking someone and you don't know if they ever think of you past what they see of you at church events. I am, of course, talking about chicken boy. He's so cute when he plays with Natalie's yorkie. I cant help feeling that so many good things would happen there. But there are so many awkward things in play.

(I wish the spell check would stop telling me that "yorkie" is spelled wrong...)

So anyone who wants to see how absurd peoples understanding of Mormons can be click here

I mean wow.

I have also developed an unhealthy addiction to caramel bugles.

p.s. Tee-Hee...Bono

Friday Things

Just some things because I was thinking...

It's Friday and even though I have to work, It makes me feel warm inside.(wow, does anyone remember TGIF? haha...I do.)

I love my sisters and I am so lucky to have each one of them in my life. Where would I be without them?

I have to spend 20 hours observing hunting Kestrels in the cold. What have I gotten myself into?

This is why I hated Valentines Day in Jr. High and High School...(I'm trying links now...I'm figuring it out so sorry if it doesn't work.

I love teen girl squad. "I'll notify her nest of...um...fruit cup."

Every time I hear the song "Photograph" by Nickelback I get all nostalgic and I feel warm and fuzzy. which is weird for them. I laugh because I remember Kirsti pointing out that Chan Kroeger looks like a country singer, yet he's in a band that could be classified as hard rock. Tee hee, he's such a poser. But a cute one.

Woah...where did he come from? A guy just appeared next...he's magic.

I have a crush on my Geology T.A., Rani. He takes the place of last semesters Amir...Whats with me and being into people of Middle-Eastern descent?

Have I mentioned how much I love John Mayer? I've been a little down in the dumps lately and listening to his music seems to make things all better. I really love this song...and he's so cute! But he moves his mouth weird when he sings.

Sorry for the randomness of this entry. This is how I usually think about things...

Take A Bow -symphonic tribute to MUSE

I was trying to find something to portray my good mood today. Muse always makes me happy and I found this and thought it was way cool. i would totally love to do something like this. I picture it being a song during some epic scene in a dark movie of some sort. It is a little choppy. But cool none the less.(the "video" aspect of this video is..well, non-existent so just listen and be amazed.) Whoever arranged this was a genius.

So I had a weird dream last night and it felt so real. I was on campus heading to my Geology class (which, in reality I was walking to wrong way but in my dream it was right). I passed by this guy who was there with his mom, dad and little sister. The little sister fell over, so I helped her up. They thanked me and I went on. Several moments later they were ahead of me again and I was passing them. This time they were wondering how to get somewhere, so I told them where to go. Again they thanked me. I walked on and almost right after that, I see them ahead of me again(how they keep migrating in front of me I done know). There wondering about the irrigation system at Mizzou. This is where it's funny because, first of all, Mizzou has no irrigation system and secondly, I start to explain this non-existent feature like I know what the heck I'm talking about. I am apparently helpful because I get thanks for the third time. I start to leave again, but the guy(who I remember being really cute) stops me. He says something along the lines of, "you've helped us three times now. Let me at least get your name." I introduce myself and he says his name is Michael. His mom starts to clear her throat suggestively and Michael seems to get the hint. He asks what classes I'm taking to see if were in any of the same classes. It turns out were not. But we are really connecting when I get a cell phone call and he has to leave.

The call was from my geology Professor asking why I'm not in class yet. I tell him I'm on my way and that I'll accept the loss of points for being late. Why the heck it would seem normal for my Professor to be calling me on my cell phone, I don't know. But it's a dream. Lots of weird things are normal.

The only other thing that I remember is thinking that I would go to facebook and look all the Michaels at Mizzou that are taking a psychology class(he told me that was one of his classes). I woke up before I ever got the chance to find him.

I remember being impressed with myself for being as assertive as I was with a guy I didn't know. Hmmm...